Jan 2: Pressure = Obligation

What are you currently feeling pressure to do that you don’t particularly enjoy?

Well, I’m currently on holidays, so I’m not actually feeling much pressure to do anything. I really want to get my lazy arse up to date with all my blog posts – and I must say, yesterday I managed to smash out a whopping 16 blog posts one after the other… That was something that I felt a lot of pressure to achieve, and I really wanted to have it all done before New Years, but I just didn’t get a chance to do so.

But now that I’m home alone (Hulk is back @ work), it’s now 12:10pm, I’m still in my PJ’s on the couch with my laptop, listening to some music by Medina (Check her out on iTunes, she’s got a few really catchy tracks!)

One thing I’m feeling pressure to do is to be more social. It started with New Years Eve. I had no intentions of going out whatsoever because I couldn’t stand the thought of being squished into a nightclub, sweating my hole out, surrounded by stinky drunk disgusting gays and the aroma of smoke, alcohol and b.o. NO THANK YOU.

However, Hulk had made the decision that we were going out much to my dislike. The reality was that it wasn’t as packed as I had anticipated, which was good, and we were out with some great people, which made the night much more bearable. So I ended up enjoying myself…

My problem is that, generally I just don’t like people that much. There’s only a select few of people that I know that I could quite happily spend hours with, without wanting to slowly bleach my retinas, or gouge my eyes out with a piece of rusty tin.

But that’s just a constant in my life. I dislike people in general, which is kinda bad, because it just makes me want to interact with people less and less. I really should change that.

However, given that I’m now getting over the festive season, I do have one underlying pressure I’m placing on myself… to lose weight. Ugh.

Seeing as how for the last two weeks of the year, all I’d done is eat myself stupid… the pinnacle being Christmas Day / Boxing Day, as well as far too much chocolate, I have now got a healthy bouncy little food baby… and I’d like to get rid of it.

However, in order to do so, it means I have to do excercise… but the type of exercise that I absolutely loathe… weights. And I don’t lift weights. I can’t think of anything more boring… and I feel so incredibly self conscious about doing weights in a gym, so the whole thing becomes a complete nightmare.

See… this is what I basically anticipate happening. I know that it won’t because I physically wouldn’t be able to lift anything more than my 5kg baby weights… but it’s the only image I get in my head. That, and the constant intimidation of being surrounded by all these fit muscly guys all watching me and judging me. Fuck that. It stresses me out too much… and how do I deal with stress?? Eat. And what do I have a table full of, waiting to be eaten? Chocolates. And thus, the vicious cycle begins.

I recently stepped out of my comfort zone to try a fitness class I’ve never done before, and it nearly bloody killed me… and I was sore for days afterwards. If anything, I might do that again… start off with something achievable…

 

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