Mar 17: Trust

Who do you trust more: yourself or others?

 

I ONLY trust myself. History has ALWAYS reminded me that the only person I can rely on is myself. Other people will inevitably let you down, moreso when you really need them and their support / assistance etc.

I don’t really trust most people, and in order for me to trust somebody, I need to know that whatever I’m doing, or telling them, will remain strictly between us and that they won’t go and talk about it to other people behind my back.

That is one of the worst things that I have experienced in my life – people betraying my trust, or me experiencing them betray somebody else’s trust. Unfortunately there are people in this world who seem to be hell-bent on bringing others down in some attempt to make themselves appear to be a better person. The only thing worse than that, are the people that support and encourage them to do so.

I cannot stand people who are two faced.

There was recently a conversation that I had with a friend of mine. This person I had always thought was quite trusting, however, after realising that this person was quite close and open with somebody that I dislike, I realised that it wouldn’t take much for this ‘friend’ of mine to tell this person whatever I’d said.

That was the point when I realised that they might be of the mindset keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. The more I thought into it, the more I realised that almost every conversation we had, this other person was brought up in some way, almost as a test in order to see what I would have to say about them, so they could then later on run back and relay everything I said, whilst also probably twisting it to make it sound worse… which is what this person happens to do.

So we were having a conversation, and out of the blue, this person blurts out something that somebody else had said about two other people we all know. Now, this was quite personal and sensitive information that really should strictly remain as a private matter between the two of them. This information is not anybody elses business, but this particular person found out about it, and then went around their social circle telling everybody about it… ‘So, you’ll never guess what I heard about — and –!! If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anybody else…!!’

The problem was, that although this person was spreading this gossip as a means for them to somehow seem to be ‘cooler’, they were asking everybody else keep it secret, but at the same time, telling anybody (and everybody) who’d listen.

By the time I’d found out from my friend, I’d already heard about it from a couple of different people, and simply brushed it off because IT’S NOT MY BUSINESS!! IT DOESN’T CONCERN ME!! So when I found out that this ‘friend’ was quite happily telling other people, I simply reiterated that I a) don’t buy into third / fourth / fifth hand gossip; b) it’s got nothing to do with me, so I don’t want to know and c) how would they feel if somebody was talking about them in this sense behind their back and airing their dirty laundry?? They wouldn’t like it, so why are they partaking in the exact same activity.

This came almost as a revelation, and made them stop and actually think about what they were saying. At that precise moment, I lost my trust for them, and made a promise to myself (and Hulk) that I would never reveal anything personal to them that would bother me if other people found out.

This is why I’m so good at keeping other people’s secrets, and why I’m so closed off from other people. It’s also why my hair’s so big… it’s full of secrets!! *LOL*

 

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