Would you say that you are your own best friend?
Well, there’s Hulk, but sometimes he doesn’t even count. I have moments where I will want to tell him something, or share something with him from my day, and he just tunes out. Even if he doesn’t actually verbally say anything, his actions tell me that he really doesn’t give a shit, and probably just wants me to shut the fuck up.
Unfortunately, years of this behaviour has lead me to not really share much with him. Take this blog for example. I wanted nothing more than to a) tell him that I was actually undertaking this project; and b) hoping that he might show the most minute shred of remote interest, pat me on the back, say ‘good for you, baby’ and send me on my merry way.
Instead, when I went to tell him about it, I got instantly shut down and told that he doesn’t want to hear about it. He wants to know nothing about it. He thinks it’s a stupid idea, and thinks that I certainly shouldn’t be writing it.
After initially feeling completely floored by this overreaction… I took anmoment to try and explain to him in more detail, and make a point of emphasising the fact that he was CLEARLY confused, and was thinking of my other blog, but he wouldn’t hear it. He had already decided that he didn’t want to even give me a chance to say what I had to say. He’d made up his mind that he wanted to know NOTHING, and because I’d told him this during our romantic dinner.. it made the rest of the meal quite uncomfortable and awkward… and silent.
So here I am 240+ posts later, and he still refuses to even let me have a moment to talk to him about it. The hands go up and I get “I told you, I don’t want to know about it”. It’s quite disappointing and disheartening.
Because of moments like this, I do become my own best friend. I do things for me. Things that are just for me, because I know he wont want to be involved, or it doesn’t interest him. It can sometimes be really hard having a partner who can sometimes be such a complete polar opposite to me… but then I think that perhaps those moments are what make us work so well…? Variety is a good thing in a relationship, right??