…When all you need is a knife might not be ironic, but it is unfortunate. Add your own verse, stanza, or story of badly-timed annoyance to Alanis Morissette’s classic.
– Turning up to the gym with everything except your runners.
– Turning up to the gym without a change of clothes after your sweaty workout.
– Leaving home extra early, only to be caught in traffic / have public transport delays, and end up being late anyway.
– Getting excited about going out for waffles, only to arrive and the store has closed.
– Planning a day out in the sunshine, only for it to turn nasty and rain instead. Or, being at home sick when the weather is perfect outside.
– Going out to a club, only to not get in after waiting in line for 45mins.
– Going out for an all-day breakfast, which they stop serving at midday.
– Hosting a party that everybody says they’re going to, and nobody turns up.
– Double-booking yourself for two events, and being forced to choose. Only to then have the one you choose fall through, and the one you gave up fall-through as well.
– Buying two tickets to a show, and nobody wants the other ticket.
– Buying an expensive pair of headphones, and they sound cheap and terrible.
– Buying a brand new car and crashing it on the way home.
– Getting ‘bumped up’ to an earlier flight, only to have it grounded.
– Arriving interstate, only to find your luggage is in a different state. Then buying emergency clothes, and having your luggage turn up at your hotel… after you’ve already returned home.
– Planning, booking and paying for overseas travel, and your employer cancels your leave approval.
– Having all your bills fall due on payday.
– Paying for express international shipping, and it takes 4 weeks instead of 4 days.
– Being dumped on your birthday.
It’s all a little too ironic.