Remember the seven cardinal sins? You’re given the serious task of adding a new one to the list — another trait or behavior you find particularly unacceptable, for whatever reason. What’s sin #8 for you? Why?
Let’s face it, Seven really doesn’t cut it anymore. My number 8 is easy: Fucktardery.
And whilst we’re at it, let’s add it to the list of Commandments as well – thou shalt not be a fucktard. It has a nice little ring to it.
The classification of fucktardery would be the result of somebody being guilty of breaking something that would be considered to be ‘common sense’. This in itself would be an itemised list of ‘rules’ or ‘guidance notes’ for acceptable behaviour amongst society.
Oh, and of course, I would be responsible for creating this list of ‘acceptable’ behaviour for any human being living, working and commuting in modern society. Therefore, everybody would be required to abide by this list, and if not, then would be charged with ‘fucktardery’ – although I haven’t quite worked out what the punishment would be… perhaps public humiliation and a fine, a percentage of which would go to charity or something. Why not use an opportunity like this to make somebody else’s life better!
So how does it work?
Everybody’s face goes into a giant database, and by this stage, every surveillance system will be running facial recognition software. Somebody sees somebody else doing something that would be considered as an act of fucktardery, and they snap a photo and send it to a ‘tip line’. That then gets cross-referenced with the surveillance footage for confirmation, and *boom*, they get charged with fucktardery. That person then gets an alert on their phone detailing their accused act, and gives them the option of either paying their fine immediately, or suffer public humiliation. If it were on public transport, then an announcement would be made to the entire carriage / network of carriages naming and shaming said ‘felon’. If it were in public, ie driving, then all the lights would turn red, and all billboards in the vicinity (which would already be digital) would change to an image of the person driving and their license plate.
If anybody is accused more than three times per month, then the fine would double and failure to pay would result in something like community service, liquidation of assets via the Police / sheriff, or a stint in jail. Can’t you see it now, ‘oh, and what are you in here for?’, ‘being too much of a fucktard!’ My view is that people wouldn’t want to be ‘named-and-ashamed’ so publicly so would opt of paying immediate fines and generally just stop being such a fucktard.
If only…!!
adorablyobnoxious 