14 Aug – Mem’ries

Victor Hugo said: “Intelligence is the wife, imagination is the mistress, memory is the servant.” Do you feel that your memories work for you, or do you feel beholden to your memories?

I think I’d much rather focus of having imagination as a mistress… Although I’m not sure how my boyfriend would feel about that…
My memories have more of a hold over me than I would care to acknowledge, because as much as I would love to be able to just let things go, I just can’t. I hold on to everything and remember everything. Maybe it’s just part of who I am? Maybe it’s some kind of trait I’ve inherited from my German heritage? Maybe it’s because I’m a Scorpio? Or perhaps it’s a combination of all those factors.

Some of my memories are great, and always bring a smile to my face – usually all the older ones from my childhood when life was completely different, but they’re all overshadowed by all the bad memories I have from my life. All that pain and hurt constantly dancing around in my brain and in my subconscious, causing me to feel jaded and cautious and second-guess everybody around me – wondering whether anybody is actually legitimate, or whether they just have ulterior motives.

I know that it’s messed up, and it’s no doubt a contributing factor as to why I dislike people in general, and why I just want to be alone to be a crazy cat lady. Maybe I should try hypnosis??

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