We’ve all had exchanges where we came up with the perfect reply — ten minutes too late. Write down one of those, but this time, make sure to sign off with your grand slam (unused) zinger.
I have these all the time. Like, all. the. time. And it’s worse because it’s usually with somebody that I have to deal with on the phone and remain as polite and professional as possible, when the truth is, all I want to do is tell them how much they can go fuck themselves and stop wasting my time.
For anybody who has ever worked in a customer service role, you’ll be all too familiar with the phrase ‘the customer is always right’. Well, they’re not. Most of the time, the customer is completely fucking stupid, and feels entitled to be as much of a cunt as they want, because, the customer (ie. them) is always right. No matter what. Even if they’re not. So this then gives them the impression that they can treat the server (ie. you) like absolute shit, and get away with it.
Sorry… I’m not having that.
Working in a customer service role, I’ve had more than my fair share of these kind of people. As the first point of contact with the company, I’m the one that will answer the phone and then get screamed at, because some clown that works here is completely incapable of returning phone calls, or following up on something, or basically, doing anything that they’re being incredibly overpaid to do. So instead, I cop their wrath of frustration (which, let’s just point out, I’m certainly not being paid enough to deal with).
Now, it’s somewhat of a challenge to try and keep my cool when some fuckwit is going off their brain at me over something I have absolutely no involvement in, whatsoever. And, well, there have been times when I’ve answered the phone, and I’ve barely finished introducing myself and I just get screaming. I wait until they’ve finished… and then calmly explain to them that unless they’re prepared to apologise to me for such abusive behaviour, I’ll hang up on them and they can call back when they’ve calmed down, because I sure as hell will not be tolerating that kind of abuse. I don’t give a fuck who they are, you do not speak to me like that.
There have also been times when I’ve completely lost it, and screamed back at them as well… I usually then get yelled at by my manager and told to go for a walk to calm down and cool off. But still, even when I come back I keep being told that I have to be nice to these people.
Sorry… I’m not having that.
I refuse, flat out refuse to bear the brunt of somebody’s abuse for something that I have nothing to do with. They don’t get to speak to me like that. They shouldn’t be speaking to anybody like that.
I often have these moments as well via email. But it’s usually me being full of rage over somebody else’s blatant incompetence. Usually, I have to physically get up and leave my desk before I reply to an email, because I know that I’ll just start seeing red, and the rage will flow through my fingers to my keyboard and I’ll have sent some incredibly scathing email without even realising what has been said (note: it’s happened several times before!).
So whilst it’s common for me to have some real ‘zingers’ to come back at people with, I never get a chance to say them, because the moment has passed, or I get too scared to actually say them. My bark is worse than my bite… well… unless you get bitten, then you’re fucked.