In a reversal of Big, the Tom Hanks classic from the 80s, your adult self is suddenly locked in the body of a 12-year-old kid. How do you survive your first day back in school?
I remember being 12… I was in year 6 at primary school, in a school of only maybe thirty children. In my grade there was only eight of us. And they were cunts.
It was a very small country town where everybody was related. Most of the kids all lived on farms. The boys all played football (as in AFL – Australian Football League a.k.a. ‘Aussie Rules’), which is much more aggressive than American football – we don’t use excessive padding… Anyway, so the boys did that and the girls all played netball and the only things that they united in we’re playing handball… And making my life miserable.
I hated them all.
Well, the boys more than the girls, but even then some of those girls were just vicious little bitches.
If I didn’t have a choice but to go back in time as my adult self in my 12yr old body, I would rule that school. Those little shits wouldn’t know what hit them. I’d be ready for whatever teasing or bullying they had planned and I’d be able to defend myself if it turned south and got physical (I’m assuming that all the skills I’ve learnt also apply..?!).
I’d be an intelligent and highly skilled and capable 12yr old. My dancing skills would be amazing, my reading and comprehension would be so above average, but most importantly, I’d have the sarcasm, humour and quick fire wit to be able to deal with anything they said to me. I actually think that as a result I’d be a much happier child, which would mean less times crying after school from having rocks and pinecones thrown at me; or from being pushed over onto the ground; or having water thrown at me; or having my belongings thrown over fences or onto roofs; less mornings making myself sick from anxiety – anxiety from the fear of going to school and being bullied all day.
Y’know, all those wonderful things.
Ironically I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I would actually end up being friends with them. Which disgusts me.