700th Post – Christmas!

 

700

First and foremost… this is my 700th post. That came around REALLY quickly… and will perhaps be the last major milestone for quite some time, as I’m planning to move from daily to weekly prompts, focusing purely on creative writing.

But that’s going to be explained in a later post… instead, I’d like to talk about the reindeer elephant in the room…

It’s that time of the year again… bah humbug.

Currently in the office, everybody is going batshit crazy because there was a mistake with the Kris Kingle allocations amongst the staff, and heaven forbid, a couple of people have ended up with *gasp* TWO k.k. gifts this year… and some have ended up with none.

It’s a complete tragedy, and nobody seems to know what to do with themselves, because they’ve worked themselves up into such a state about it. And all of this after somebody decided to lose their shit over the fact that there are two completely identical parcels under the tree of the same size (DUN DUN DUNNNNN), and wrapped in the SAME PAPER!!

I know, I’m just as horrified… IT’S A K.K. GIFT… CALM THE FUCK DOWN, BITCHES!!

All week I’ve been fielding questions from people about what present they should get for another person in the office – even people who should already know the answer to this question – you’ve worked with them for how long now? And you STILL don’t know what they like? It’s unbelievable.

Currently there is more chocolate sitting in this office than there would be in the local supermarket – granted, majority of it is currently sitting under my desk waiting to be wrapped and distributed amongst all these… people.

I’m so unprepared for Christmas this year. I’ve bought no presents yet, I don’t even have a list of who I’m needing to buy presents for – it’s become so last minute, it’s disgraceful. Last year, I had most of my xmas shopping already done, and I did it all online so I didn’t have to go and deal with thousands of fuckwit shoppers wandering around a shopping centre, buying up absolutely everything, just in case it’s the last Christmas on Earth, on the off chance that a giant meteor is going to completely obliterate us all.

…but of course, that only comes after you’ve spent almost an hour driving around the car park, screaming at fucktard drivers who seem to have magically forgotten what driving is and what ‘ONE WAY’ means. That in itself is enough to turn me completely off going anywhere near our local shopping centre. It’s bad enough that on a normal Saturday, the traffic in almost every street leading to Knifepoint Highpoint is banked up for blocks and blocks and blocks. It’s actually so much easier to just walk there from our house, and the truth is, you could probably get in, do your shopping, and get out, before some people have even made it to the entrance of the car park.

It’s a fucking nightmare.

I really just want to complete write-off Christmas this year. I’ve reached a point where I just can’t deal with it anymore. It’s not about the festive spirit anymore… it’s about chocolate;  food, and waaaay too much of it; eating (and then complaining about eating too much – here’s a hint: PUT DOWN THE FUCKING FORK!!); shopping; attempting to make everybody else around you happy whilst you go completely broke or into debt; family obligation; and the most stress that most of us have had to deal with all damn year.

I want nothing to do with it.

This year it’s about Xmas parties. People banging on about how they need to see you before Christmas, with the kind of urgency usually reserved for somebody going off to war… like if they don’t see you before xmas, they’ll never see you again. Honestly, I wish some people would actually take that approach.

This is the first year that I haven’t been able to spend xmas with my mum. Conveniently enough she’s been on my case saying how lovely it would be if I could spend Christmas with her and my brother, because the three of us haven’t spent a christmas together for over ten years now… thanks for that, Mum. #ChristmasGuilt.

Instead, I’ll now be spending my Christmas eve (which I have always spent celebrating with mum) with Hulk’s family instead, followed by the usual massive lunch & dinner on Xmas day. I don’t even really want to do that. I would much prefer for Hulk and I to stay home and actually have some down time for a change, rather than running all over town dealing with stress and chaos.

Hopefully, whatever you are doing this Christmas, it’s not filled with as much stress and resentment as mine is. And we’re still a week away… *ugh*. A lot can happen in a week, and I’m anticipating that it’s all going to turn to shit quite rapidly.

We’re having our office christmas party tomorrow, and even that has blown out to some huge event rather than just a simple staff luncheon, and people flipping out about who’s organising which foods, and why this wasn’t ordered and that was ordered instead, and there isn’t going to be enough of this etc etc. Ironically, my understanding was that we were originally just going to all organise our own take-away lunch instead, and just sit down together for a few drinks and some presents and speeches etc… but no.

Nothing is ever that simple.

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