“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” — Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
When was the last time that sentence accurately described your life?
I can sum this up in two words:
People become ex’s for a reason – and this one is no different.
Mental note, perhaps don’t date somebody when they already have a boyfriend.
Then, make sure that it doesn’t blow out into some kind of three-year on-again-off-again love affair where you become ‘that person’. That person that wants more from somebody who clearly can’t give you what you want.
G was… an experience. I was young and naive, and thought that I was in love, but after a few years of his shit, I finally ended it. A couple of weeks later he ended things with his boyfriend, but it was too late for me. I’d moved on and was happy being single again. I know I have said it before, but I really do quite enjoy being on my own – but not having to deal with the drama of G and the whirlwind that constantly surrounded him was a refreshing change.
I did love being with him – I loved just hanging out with him. He’s also a highly respected creative guy. He was so supportive and encouraging, and I loved being able to spend time with him, because he was actually there. He wasn’t playing on his phone messaging other guys, or constantly scrolling through his Facebook newsfeed – he was truly present. And I will forever love and respect him for that.
He’d often go and do cool things for his work, and would either send me photos, or bring me back a souvenir and that was always lovely. He managed to make me feel like it was just him and I – the two of us against the world.
…until he’d have to go and sort out some drama’s with his boyfriend.
I’d go through stages where I wanted nothing to do with him, and didn’t want to see him, but then I’d miss him terribly – I think that it was because he was such a significant part of my life, and such a presence in my life, and I had nobody else around me that was like that. I love being around creative people; I find it quite lovely to even just be around people who are supportive and encouraging, but at the time, my social circle didn’t really have any of those people in it. It was disappointing.
It also didn’t help that, at the time, he wasn’t out to anybody. A handful of his closest friends knew, but the world that he lived in wasn’t very open or accepting, and so he was constantly in a state of torment.
I never went to his apartment. I never met his family.
I never met his friends. correction – I only met a couple of his friends, and even then, it was rather awkward. I don’t even know if they had met his boyfriend… all I remember is that I was only ever introduced as a ‘friend’.
My relationship with G was certainly quite an experience, and it taught me quite a lot, not just about relationships, but about myself as an individual, and I’ll forever be grateful that I discovered that earlier on in my life, rather than later.