29 Dec – Happy Clothes

Is there something you wear that makes you feel happy?

There are, in fact, different clothes that make me feel happy, depending on the circumstances. I remember when I was younger and during the holidays we’d go to my father’s place on the northern NSW coast, we’d go swimming in the ocean, and it would be freezing, but when we’d return home and shower, I’d put on a jumper and track pants, despite it being 35C outside… which, also, drove my father ballistic because he simply couldn’t comprehend it.

For me, there is nothing better than the feeling of having a long hot shower, or bath, in the middle of winter, and then getting out and putting on some thick warm socks, and some thick warm fleecy track pants (hmmm… anybody else seeing a theme here?) or even better… my giraffe onesie! I do love my onesie, but it just gets a tad too hot a bit too quickly.

I find that because I have developed so many body issues, and have become so self-conscious about the way I look, I don’t necessarily have clothes that make me feel happy any more. I think that comes with being happy with your body, and when you’re not happy with your body, no amount of clothing will make you happy… well, unless of course it involves spanks or corsets – or basically anything that assists in making your body image more acceptable to yourself.

Towards the end of last year, i bought myself a pair of jeans, and for the most part, I absolutely loathe buying jeans, because I’ve found it impossible to buy myself some denim that actually fits me properly. I don’t have the same body shape as every other guy; i have child-bearing hips and I have big muscly things (so there goes my hopes of ever wearing a pair of stove-pipe skinnies!) and I have a big muscly bum, and jeans aren’t made to fit those kind of figures. They’re basically either for all the really skinny guys, or the guys who are 6’3″, have a 32″ waist, skip leg day and have no arse. Oh, and I’m in between sizes, which just adds to the frustration. If I go up a size, it’s too big, and if I go down a size, it’s too tight. So on this one particular day, I just tried on a pair of jeans… well, they’re kind of jeans-but-not-jeans. They’re described as a drop-crotch-denim-jogger… but when I tried them on, I actually stopped for a moment and thought, ‘you know what, I don’t actually look hideous in this’. I think it was also because it’s been so incredibly long since I last said that to myself, that I couldn’t stop staring at myself in the mirror. It was very unlike me to even go for something like this, but it actually made me feel kinda good. And after several picture messages back and forth to Hulk, and him saying absolutely not, they look too good, I took that as a sign to buy them and wear to an event that night.

It wasn’t until we actually left the hotel and I started to walk in them properly that I realised that the waist was waaaaay too big, and I’d made a mistake, and should have gone for the smaller size, but it was too tight in the legs… and thus my dilemma started all over again. But when I got to the party, people kept making comments on how good it made my legs look, which was a small boost to my self confidence… so if I ever feel like a little pick me up, I guess that those are the pants that help me achieve that.

Other than that, there’s always my shoe collection. Oho and we know how much I loves me a sweet pair of hi-tops!!

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