Clichés become clichés for a reason. Tell us about the last time a bird in the hand was worth two in the bush for you.
In my line of work, which I refer to as being a ‘shit kicker’ (not literally of course!) I’m tasked with a lot of remedial things, either because others are lazy, or simply not competent enough to know how to do so.
During this one particular period of time, I was given the task of interrupting my own work, to complete a task for a co-worker, I guess, simply because she just couldn’t be bothered. Having already explained to her that a) she was not my boss, nor was I her personal assistant and b) I was happy to help her, but my work takes precedence, and I would get to it after I complete my own work, she walked off in a huff and quietly sat at her desk slamming things and making a commotion.
After about forty-five minutes, she called out across the office to ask me if I’d managed to start that task for her, I guess in some kind of attempt to publicly show some kind of authority and also to point out that because I hadn’t done what she’d asked of me, then I must be slacking off, and therefore, lazy. But, after quietly hearing a few people scoffing behind their monitors, I called back across the office in reply, pointing out that I’d already explained the situation to her (as above) and that she was more than welcome to do her own work if it was so urgent for her. Again, this led to more behind-the-monitor scoffing by work colleagues. And truth be told, that kind of outburst from her really pissed me off.
So, a couple of hours passed, and again she checked in on me, and I gave her the same response. It got to the point where she then decided to go through our manager, who then came over and started having a go at me, insinuating that I was being lazy. Sure enough, I put her back in her place, and explained the situation to her, which completely changed her stance on the matter. My view never changed: Yes, I’m more than happy to help you, but I’ll get to it when my work is done first.
So in the end, she cracked the shits, and decided to do it by herself. Turns out, it was actually quite a simple job, well… simple for me. And it probably would have taken about 30mins or so in total, because it was all about doing some reporting of data and turning it into graphs.
Part of my job, was actually correcting some of the data that was being reported on, therefore ensuring that all the data was accurate and current so that all the data reports, in turn, were also current and correct. Trying to do these reports before I finished would just mean that they’d have to be done again.
I guess I probably should have explained this to her in the first place, but, well, if you’re going to treat me like that, then you get no help. Sorry, bitch.
So I finished all my work, which had taken weeks and weeks to do, and then, as promised, ran all the reports that my co-worker moll requested of me. It also turned out that she had attempted these reports also, but due to her impatience, had done them all before I’d amended the data, so all her reports were incorrect.
Admittedly, when I discovered this, I revelled in the pure joy that it brought me, and I will also admit that I did take some time in deciding just how to bring this to her attention, and how much of a bastard I wanted to be about it. In the end I decided that it would be based upon just how she decided to treat me for the rest of the day.
So, just to recap – she has spent hours and hours doing these reports, which had only taken me a half hour, except hers were all wrong, and mine weren’t.
Given that these weren’t actually required to be handed out for another couple of days, I thought I’d just sit on it for a couple of days, and said nothing about it.
The day before they were due, a co-worker politely asked me to do a last-minute report. I happily obliged, and in a few clicks and a couple of minutes, the report was done. I handed over the report, and this colleague put the report in a folder, only to discover there was already a folder pre-made. And a report already in there. However the report in there was completely different to the one that I had created merely minutes ago.
“Oh no! We’ve got a problem!”
Hearing this in the corner of the office was like music to my ears. I slowly swung around on my chair, and with false concern written all over my face, queried my co worker, ‘What’s the matter?’ She then informed me that the report I’d done was completely different to what was already in there.
Cue the perfect opportunity to shoot my
fake boss co-worker in the foot.
Again, we went through the report that I had just done, and got the same result, and then I just happen to mention, ‘well, if this one is wrong, then maybe all the others are wrong as well?!’ Which led us to check a couple of reports at random. Sure enough they were wrong, so we decided that they all needed to be re-done.
Because this other co-worker has a tendency to completely flip out at the drop of a hat, I begrudgingly accepted the task of re-doing all these reports (which were already done and sitting on my desk), but made out as though it was such an inconvenience, and was going to take me quite some time to re-do them all, and that I couldn’t be distracted during this period of time. I also made a point of pouring a bit more lemon juice into the wound by saying that if my co-worker had’ve listened to me in the first place instead of being such a moll, this could have all been prevented… and suddenly, there I am saving the day.
Moral of the story… don’t fuck with me. *lol*