Special thanks to ‘L’ The Human for indulging in my randomness.
Created using http://iphonefaketext.com
Special thanks to ‘L’ The Human for indulging in my randomness.
Created using http://iphonefaketext.com
Do you believe in fate or do you believe you can control your own destiny?
I generally believe in fate. I think that everything happens for a reason – whether that reason is clear or not. I know that there are people who believe that they can control their own destiny, but I generally disagree with that view of thinking.
I believe that fate is what controls our lives. We can try to control it as much as possible, but things happen to each of us for all different reasons.
Hands up any of you who have had one of those days where everything just seems to go completely wrong – and before you know it, you’re already wishing you had’ve just stayed in bed.
I have had a countless amount of those days. For example, just recently, I slept through my alarm, waking up when I was supposed to actually be catching the bus on the way to work. I rushed around the house in a complete panic getting ready and packing my bag, only to race out of the building and find myself stuck on the wrong side of the road waiting for a break in the traffic. Whilst I was waiting to cross, the bus that I had intended on catching, turned the corner and left – without me. Awesome. I then had to wait another 20mins for the next bus, which ended up being late, only to then get stuck in peak-hour traffic, and subsequently break down a few blocks from the train station. By this stage I had already called work to tell them I was running quite late. I power-walked down to the train station, only to discover that there was a delay on the train line I catch, and I had to catch a different train into the city, and then change again in order for me to get to the station I needed to get to. By this stage, I was already starting to get a bit sweaty from being so rushed, but I could deal with it when I got to the office.
The train arrived, and then stopped in between stations for another 5 minutes, waiting for the train in front of us to move out of the station – it was having an engine fault. By this stage I was already 20mins late for work. I then (finally) got my station, and got off to catch a tram, and just missed the tram I needed and the next one wasn’t for another 9minutes. Instead, I ended up walking the rest of the way. It took longer than 9 minutes, but no tram had passed me by the time I got to the office – so I took some very minor comfort knowing that it was faster to walk rather than wait for a tram.
All up… I was on hour late to work.
It’s just like when you’re driving somewhere and you really want to just get there… and you end up getting every. single. red. light. After about 5 in a row, you’re ready to tear your hair out, and screaming out to God / Mother Nature / Life as to why it seems to hate you so much.
Can you control that? Not at all. It’s out of your control.
In my situation, could I have controlled any of that? I could have gotten up when I was supposed to, but who’s to say that the same thing wouldn’t have happened?? I can say that in my experience, it has. I’ve had days where it’s taken me almost two hours to get to work. Granted, it has only happened a couple of times, but it has happened. And it’s all out of my control. I can only do so much… the rest, as I said before, I believe is simply fate.
Sometimes I think life is there to test me. To try and see what my breaking point is. Maybe it’s God (not that I acutally believe in God) or Mother Nature, or some other spiritual entity, watching me, thinking ‘Now, what can I do today, to really piss him off?’. Sometimes I feel as though life just seems to hate me. Sometimes it makes me feel that I shouldn’t ever leave the house, and should just confine myself to my apartment – but knowing my track record, I’d do that, and then have a three-day power outage.
What is your favorite sweet thing to eat? Bread pudding? Chocolate chip oatmeal cookies? A smooth and creamy piece of cheesecake? Tell us all about the anticipation and delight of eating your favorite dessert. Not into sweets? Tell us all about your weakness for that certain salty snack.
For people like me, who have a real severe sweet tooth, having to pick one, has the same dread as a parent having to pick their favourite child. How can I possibly pick my favourite sweet thing to eat??
There’s simply too many choices.
At this precise moment, I could totally murder a family-sized custard tart… or an entire cake – like a chocolate Swiss roll, or a butter cake, or like a half-dozen chocolate croissants. Or an entire packet of biscuits – I don’t really care what type of biscuits, just as long as I get to eat an entire packet (or three) of them.
I have a weakness when it comes to sweet things and desserts. And I mean major weankess!! I just can’t restrain myself. In my drawer at work, more specifically my bottom drawer, is where I keep most of my food – like all my crackers, and tins of tuna, and powdered soup packets… but I also have my rectangular plastic container.
In that container I usually have it filled with a few different sweet-snacky things. At the moment I have a few individual packets of low-calorie berry-flavoured biscuits – they’re new on the market, so I decided to try them. In every flavour.
I also have these small banana and choc-chip two-bite snack cake things. Naturally there was three different flavours when I first discovered them, so had to buy a box of each, and have also slowly eaten my way through those as well.
Not to mention the odd mini packet of flavoured Tim Tams… or the odd chocolate bar…
Oh and when one of the parents brings a chocolate fundraising box to work, I’m gladly donating money to that… simply because I can get giant Freddo Frogs and Caramello Koalas for a dollar… A WHOLE DOLLAR!!
I don’t actually think it really matters what the item is, as long as it’s sweet and there’s plenty of it, I’ll go to town with it. Block of chocolate… it’ll be all gone within minutes. I don’t seem to be able to restrain myself, or slow down to savour the flavour, or enjoy the moment… my brain will see a block of chocolate, an entire cake, a box of truffles etc as a challenge and say ‘Right. See all of that?? How fast can you get that into your belleh?? You’ve got a 5-minute time limit. If you can’t finish that whole thing within five minutes, then you’re nothing more than an embarrassment. And a failure. A completely embarrassing failure. You make me sick. What the fuck is wrong with you? What do you mean you don’t feel well?? How dare you let that stop you?! GET OUT OF MY SITE IMMEDIATELY!!’
When I was younger, it was even worse. I had something called ‘The Oprah Box’, which was stashed away within the depths of my wardrobe. It was a red square box, and it was always stocked with packets of biscuits and lollies and blocks of chocolate. And I mean always!. Sometimes I’d get home late at night from dancing, and if I was staying up late studying, I’d attack the box. If my homegirl B came over, we’d attack the box together. There was always something in it.
It amazes me how I don’t have diabetes already. God knows I was certainly on the right path to developing it. I think because I actually eat normal food the rest of the time, and it’s actually pretty healthy, plus the fact that I’m quite regularly active at the gym.
As I finish this post, I’m currently sitting in the food court of a city shopping centre… people around me are eating Mickey D’s and it smells so. damn. good. I just wanna go smash down a couple of burgers, but I have to go to the gym later on, and I simply can’t do it to myself.
Do you think it’s possible to control your temper when facing enormous pressure?
This is something that I regularly struggle with. I find that I do go through periods where I am under a lot of pressure, whether it’s work related or pressure I put on myself for whatever reason, and I find that when I am feeling stressed out like that, then I more than often just want to be left alone.
It usually gets to a point where I will snap at anybody for even talking to me, because I’m so heavily focused on what I’m doing at that time. The worst part is when I do actually reach that point, and somebody does cross the line (you know, that line that I only I know exists, and they don’t, essentially meaning their stepping into a lions den without realising it… yeah, that line) I shoot my mouth off… and I shoot to kill.
I cannot deny that I have quite a potty mouth on me, some people find it quite entertaining, some don’t, but when I shoot my mouth off when I am angry… it’s like going down swinging. I will use my words to completely tear somebody apart, and most of the time, I just say it to be a nasty malicious bitch. When I find myself at that point where I can’t even think clearly because I’m so full of rage, my mind shuts off, and my mouth takes over. This is usually why most of the time, when I’m involved in some kind of argument or disagreement, I can’t really remember anything that I say.
I know I say things that are nasty. I know that I say things that are hurtful. I usually just do so as a warning to others… it’s sort of like my way of saying ‘don’t think about even LOOKING at me’, but the thing with that is that when I shoot my mouth off in one of those moments, I really don’t necessarily mean anything that actually comes out of my mouth (because, like I said, I usually just say shit in the heat of the moment), but although I don’t think anything of it, others end up getting quite upset or offended.
That tends to make these situations worse, because I think that they’re being too sensitive, and that makes me look like even more of a bitch.
Evidently, I have a problem.
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