13 Oct – Crunch Time

Do you work well under pressure when it’s crunch time?

 

Generally speaking, if I’m left alone, I usually power through whatever it is I need to get done… If people feel compelled to continue interrupting me whilst I’m ‘in the zone’ they shouldn’t be surprised when I completely flip out at them.
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Jan 17: Handle It or Fall Apart?

Do you think you handle pressure well, or do you usually fall apart?

When it comes to how I handle pressure, it really depends on my frame of mind. Sometimes I might be feeling as though I’m ready to conquer the world (as rare as that may be), or sometimes even the smallest piece of pressure makes me want to fall to pieces.

One thing I have noticed is that when I do start to feel pressure, I get stressed and I internalise everything, to the point where I will get so focused on a task, I actually lose the ability to work and talk at the same time. I know that for others who are trying to talk to me during these moments get quite frustrated, because it just seems as though I’m blatantly ignoring them… that’s not the case, I’ve just temporarily lost the ability to speak. I get so focused on the task at hand, and more often than not I’ll be on a roll and when you’re in that mindspace, the last thing you want is to be interrupted and have your train of thought disrupted.

Daily Prompt: Simply the Best

When and where do you do your best thinking? In the bathroom? While running? Just before bed, or first thing in the morning? On the bus? Why do you think that is?

It depends on my mood.

Generally, it’s whenever I’m by myself, because I can be alone with my thoughts… all of them. Ugh, so many thoughts. But when I’m alone and I’m not being distracted, then I can focus on at least one stream of consciousness racing around inside my head.

Like at the moment, I’m at home on the couch in my pj’s. It’s 12:30pm, and I have a raging headache because instead of breakfast I’ve had 3 handfuls of peanut m&m’s, but I’ve got some music on in the background, and I can focus solely on my blogging and getting all my posts up to date without being distracted.

When I’m feeling sad or depressed, I usually find myself sitting in the bathtub when I’m having a shower either hugging my knees, or curled in the foetal position being overwhelmed by emotions.

kinda like that… but with boy bits.

I generally don’t really do my best thinking until later in the afternoon, or even moreso, late at night – again, when I’m not being distracted. It’s hard to focus on thoughts and concentrate when I’m constantly being distracted and interrupted. But sometimes, it can get really tiring. I sometimes wish that I could just switch off all the voices and thoughts in my head, or alternatively, be able to write them all out simultaneously so then I can quieten my mind.

This is why I can’t really do things like yoga / relaxation / meditation. I can’t lay there and be awake and not have a million things going on in my brain.

In order for me to be able to do that, I just need to be asleep. Then I’m not aware of what’s happening in my head. Instead I just end up having really fucking weird dreams for what feels like hours at a time.

I think I need to go get some Advil… this headache is just not getting any better. I should probably eat something…

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/06/daily-prompt-best/

Jan 1: Pressure

Do you work well under pressure?

can work well under pressure, however, it’s only truly effective if I’m able to be left alone to do so and I’m not going to constantly be interrupted. In saying that, I don’t necessarily work well under pressure all the time. I really need to get myself in the right frame of mind. I find that any distractions can quite easily send me off into a frustration-fuelled rage and then I completely lose my concentration, and after that, I can’t refocus again.

I’m not entirely sure why that is, nor how to actually go about fixing it.

Daily Prompt: A Source of Anxiety

Write about a noise — or even a silence — that won’t go away. (We’ll let you interpret this in different ways…)

Dear Brain,

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP!!

All you ever do is ramble on and on and on

Sometimes, all I want to do is just switch off, but even when I try, you’re always there. Always thinking. Always questioning. Always distracting!

It doesn’t stop. Like, EVER. As soon as I wake up. Whilst I’m in the toilet. When I’m showering. When I’m commuting. Listening to music. Reading. Talking to people. Working. Werqing. It’s just relentless.

Sometimes there will be multiple thoughts racing through my head. Sometimes I see them as sentences – as if they’re floating across a screen like an old Windows screensaver. Sometimes I see them as videos. Or hear them as voices. Sometimes, they happen all at the same time, and it’s hard to focus on just one of them.

And sometimes, I can completely tune out. My eyes glaze over, and the sound starts to fade and I wind up with a blank expression on my face. This is usually when somebody tells me something important that I’m supposed to pay attention to, or remember.

…but I don’t.

It happens a lot. Almost too frequently. I just wish I was able to write down or verbalise every single random thought that goes through my mind as it happens, so I could really try and make sense of it.

But also so I can take it to some kind of therapist and scare them a little. I imagine that they would look at the paper covered in manic scribbled words and be like

And then after a couple of further sessions, all they’d tell me is something along the lines of

Awesome.

Meanwhile, I would be having thoughts about how my brain activity is so strange and unique and I should be used for some kind of psychiatric study. They could map my brainwaves and hook me up to some kind of fancy colander helmet covered with wires. We’d play word association games and do some Rorschach testsThey’d make me sleep and give me different substances to alter my mental and emotional state, and then they’d leave me in a room by myself for a couple of days, whilst they watched via security camera.

And at the end of it all, they’d be like, ‘Well, turns out there’s nothing wrong with you after all. We thought you might be a one-in-a-million kind of case study, but we were wrong’.

I’d protest and ask them why I am the way I am, and why I feel the way I feel, and ask them to figure out what’s wrong with me.

But they’d just tell me that nothing is wrong. I just need to increase my intake of B-Vitamins and get some sleep. There’s nothing wrong with me. The reality is that I’m just tired and cranky.

I’d develop the term Yeezy Syndrome. Where, just like Yeezyyou become so full of yourself and think your so much more, but in actual fact, you’re not. I would have already alienated all my friends with my self-centred bullshit. And just like the rest of the world responds to anything Kanye has to say, my friends would tell me the same.

And then at the end of the day, I’d go home and make myself a cup of tea, before crawling into the bath, underneath the shower and curl up into the foetal position under the hot water…

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/12/09/source-of-anxiety/

Dec 5 – 10min Timer

Set a timer for 10 minutes and try to write your whole daily post.  Now go back and give yourself 5 more minutes to write about how you felt working under such a tight deadline.

um… what?

So, I always find these posts perhaps one of the most challenging. Write my whole daily post?? WRITE ABOUT WHAT, THOUGH?? You haven’t given me a topic to write about, and that’s the tough part.

When I’ve got a prompt to write about something specific, that’s fine. I can just focus my thoughts on that and just start tap, tap, tapping away on my keyboard, but when faced with something SO OPEN like this, it’s hard. I’m actually not sure why. I could quite easily crap on and on about, literally, anything, but I have nothing to focus on. No direction in which to go. Considering that the daily prompts are my daily posts, it should really give me an actual prompt, as well as the time challenge.

*checks the clock* 5:44min left. Ugh.

I really do wish I was at home today instead. The weather is quite bleak and cold and overcast. Great start to what is supposed to be our Summer. Instead, we’ve had more rain and cold weather, than sunshine and warmth. Stupid weather. It’s all messed up. I wish I was at home, in bed, in my onesie (it’s a Giraffe, by the way!) either watching all the cartoons waiting for me on my MacBook Pro, and / or writing on my blog, or developing ideas and prompts for another writing venture that I have in the back of my mind.

Or maybe I would just be sleeping instead. Or maybe reading – I do have a number of books I want to start reading. I really should read more.

…I’m so time poor.

The fact that I usually have to write these posts when I’m at work really says a lot. I know I shouldn’t be doing it, but I don’t have time otherwise. I really just need an hour or so each day to set aside, just to focus on writing. It’ll be great once the year is over and I’m finally on holidays, because then I can actually dedicate some proper time to the task, and not have to stress about hurrying through it, just to get it finished and out of the way.

*1min 46 seconds remain*

I want cake. I’m so hungry. It’s lunch time for me now, and the last thing I want to be having is tinned tuna. No thanks. It’s cold and miserable outside. I need something warm like a Tom Yum Soup, or some noodles, or a burrito. OOOHHH BURRITO!!

Actually, tomorrow is Burrito Friday. Crazy Cat Lady and I usually have Burrito Friday each week, although we’ve missed it the past couple of weeks because either I’ve been away, or she’s been away. But damn they are so tasty!

Hmmm… now I really want a burrito 😦

I should actually go for a walk and get something filling and hot and yummy. I really seem to have my mind set on getting a Tom Yum Soup… or maybe a Laksa? Who cares, really? I’m just hungry. I want to eat EVERYTHING. Crazy Cat Lady is suggesting a baked potato, or as we refer to them, berked perderder. Ermahgerd. Hmmm… I wonder if that’s a meme? I’m sure I saw it somewhere??

*google image search: berked perderder*
…ta-daaaaa!! One of my favourite memes ever.
*PHEW* Well, now that’s over, how do I feel about the time constraint? Well, now that I glance back over it, I’m actually surprised at how much I can achieve in 10mins when I’m writing, essentially, about nothing. Having the 10mins timer is actually a good thing, because it means there’s no time to fuck around. No time for distract… ooh, new emails… ooh… FB notifications…
It’s good because it forces you to get it done. Perhaps I should apply this kind of thing to all my future posts. Give myself a 15min timer to do all the typing and then if I want to add some pics, allow myself 5 mins to jazz it up a bit.