Daily Prompt: The Outsiders

Tel us about the experience of being outside, looking in — however you’d like to interpret that.

This is actually quite a great prompt for me to write about right now, as I’m up to my armpits in episodes of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Hulk and I have recently smashed out 3 seasons in about 2 weeks, and currently up to Season 4 and it’s fantastic!

When I was first introduced to the Real Housewives franchise, it was with those lovely respectable ladies of New Jersey,

And, of course, Hotlanta Atlanta:

But for now, we’re dealing with Beverly Hills, and fuck, have those bitches got money!!

Growing up with no money, I have always been fascinated by people and their wealth, and how they choose to display their wealth. Some people are actually humble enough to not parade their wealth around, but they seem to be far and few between. The rest of them, however, are basically like Nene above: “I AM A VERY RICH BITCH” and the great thing about shows like these, are that they give the rest of us peasants an insight into a world that we will never know or experience.

When was the last time you bought your 15yr old daughter a $50,000 car? Or the last time you flew in your friends private jet across the country? Oh, maybe you didn’t have time because you were too busy swimming in your millions of dollars from all the casinos / basketball teams / restaurants you own… I can imagine it would be such a hard life.

All these ‘ladies’ (and I use the term so very loosely) seem to do is throw lunches and dinners and parties and make them all so ridiculously over the top. Didn’t your parents spend $60,000 on your 4th birthday party? No? Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. How are you able to live with yourself? How can you even look at your parents the same anymore with out an overwhelming sense of resentment for not making your day the most elaborate and over-the-top day possible. How selfish of them!!

The thing with shows like this, is that for people like me, there’s rich, but then there’s rich. Just looking at some of the mansions these people live in is simply ridiculous. To have somebody say on camera that ‘being forced to live in anything less than 10,000 square-feet is going to be a complete nightmare’… ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?? Some of these bitches have walk-in wardrobes bigger than my 2br apartment. It’s just unbelievable how some of these people live.

But like one of the girls says “Having money doesn’t give you class, it just gives you money” and the show clearly demonstrates this. They all talk about how each other needs to behave like ‘a lady’, and stop getting caught up in petty bullshit, but that’s pretty much ALL they do in every single episode. They may have millions of dollars, live in mansions, have successful husbands etc etc, but at the end of the day, they’re all basic high-school bitches always starting shit, and stirring the pot.

Well, except for Kim Richards. She’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic now. She’s now out of her stint in rehab and ‘sober’ again, but she can barely string a sentence together at the best of times.

Unless of course, she’s lucid enough to get involved in a fight


Daily Prompt: Keeping Up with the Jones’

Tell us about the one luxury item you wish you could afford, in as much detail as you can. Paint a picture for us.

I wonder how many people are writing about the same things in response to this prompt? You know, things like bigger TV’s, flashy cars, the latest iDevice, expensive jewellery / clothing / shoes etc.

Well, I’ve got one thing. An overseas holiday.

I’ve never actually had a holiday. Yes, I have travelled, and I’ve even been overseas to do so (although, that was only New Zealand and it’s only been twice!) but still, it counts (although not according to my passport that still remains stamp-less!). Anywhere I’ve travelled to has been for either two reasons: family and / or work.

But what about me?! What about travelling for me?! I know of far too many people who are always banging on about how they’re off overseas for x-amount of weeks, or they’ve just come back from such-and-such a country, or they’re planning a 2 week trip to Thailand (again) for the third or fourth time this year, or how they’ve just sent their child off overseas for a six-week trip to Europe.

Are you fucking KIDDING ME!?!? How on earth do people afford these things? Seriously, how much money are you making if you can afford so much travel?? Even if you are lucky enough to get cheap flights and possibly, cheap accommodation, yes, that makes it much more affordable, but some people seem to just have money coming out of their ears, and those are the people who love to flaunt it in everybody’s face.


…fuck off.

I want to travel for me. And Hulk. But mainly for my own self-indulgent pleasure.

I want to find myself on a beach somewhere. Don’t necessarily care right now, those details are secondary. A beach with white sand and crystal clear waters. Massages by (or on) the beach twice a day. Copious amounts of sleeping and lazing around in the sun to work on getting a fabulous tan (instead of this pasty-white skin that I’m rocking at the moment). Fresh produce everyday, fruits and vegetables and seafood. Lordy, so much seafood!

I want to go canoeing, and snorkelling on reefs, and taking underwater photos of beautiful fish and turtles. I want to go swimming with dolphins, and then end up crying uncontrollably from the onslaught of raw pent-up emotion. I want to find myself in paradise; in a place where the rest of the world doesn’t even exist. I want to completely forget about the stresses of work, and working two jobs. Forget about the stresses of being constantly tired, and being time poor, and having late nights and late dinners. I want to be able to eat dinner at a normal time, and eat it at the beach!!

But the worst part of it all, is that some bitch out there is going to turn around and tell me that they’ve just come back from 3 weeks in the Maldives, and tell me about how utterly ahmaaaahhhzing it was, and that I ‘simply must go there sometime’.

Oh should I? Thanks for confirming that one for me.