Daily Prompt: The Sincerest Form of Flattery

Publish a post in the style of a favorite author/blogger or photographer.

I’ve decided to dedicate this post to one of my favourite types of blog, the (X-Number) of things we (should eat / do / watch / avoid / stop doing etc).

6 Things I Hate About TV in Australia

1. It’s mostly American.

Everything that I like to watch is primarily American, and only a very small percentage of those shows are actually shown here on our free-to-air network.

2. Geo-locators

Living in the arse-end of the world certainly makes a lot of stuff difficult. Many companies don’t ship internationally to our country – like Reebok (Why? WHY DON’T YOU WANT MY MONEY!!?), and even some major marketplaces have limited shipping options – I’m looking right at you, Amazon!!

But what really grinds my gears is that I would rather pay for a Netflix account so that I could watch everything I want to, and pay for it, rather than just download them off the interwebs. But I can’t do that, because apparently nothing exists outside the bubble of the USA’s self-importance.

3. Aussie TV is not that great.

So far the best thing that Australia has produced is probably Offspring, and the very first series of Underbelly. Yet, our biggest export is Home & Away and Neighbours. I compare them to American shows like Bold and the Beautiful etc. Ridiculous drama’s with terrible acting, incredibly predictable story lines and the season finale that always guarantees at least one cast member will die, or leave due to a bomb explosion / murder / boat sinking / car accident etc etc.

However, my favourite send up (spoof) of these shows was on a sketch show called Fast Forward. They did a regular piece of a show called Dumb Street

4. All the good stuff is on Foxtel

Foxtel is a pay-tv / subscription service with something like 50 channels, but they don’t have the channels or programmes that I would want to watch. Well, not all of them. It is primarily all american content, but a lot of it are shows I already download.

5. Nothing runs on time.

All the shows that we have set to record at the moment eg. The Block, My Kitchen Rules etc are all set to record on our DVR, but they either start too early, or finish later than advertised. Our DVR is set to record 10mins before and 10mins after and we still manage to miss either the beginning / end of episodes. SO FRUSTRATING!! And sometimes, even if it’s set to record a show, the network sometimes airs something different. Then just to add a little more salt to my first-world-problem wound, when we go to watch it online, there’s about 3mins of advertisements between each 7-8min segment of the show which just makes you want to scream.

6. We’re so behind!

So, generally speaking, by the time a season of a show has aired in the US, that’s when we will have it premiere here in ‘Straya. Over the last couple of years, some shows have been advertised as ‘airing straight after it airs in the US’ which has made things a bit more acceptable, but I find that most of the time when that’s the case, I can already be 4 or 5 episodes ahead if I just download it off the interweb. I know it’s wrong. I know I shouldn’t do it. I’d be more than happy to pay for it, but nobody seems to want to take my money in order to do so. Why? WHY DON’T YOU WANT MY MONEY!?!?

So then I’ll find myself hunched over my laptop lining late at night looking for the latest episodes of all the shows I am currently watching…