Tell us about a bullet you’re glad you dodged — when something awful almost happened, but didn’t.
I think one of the situations that stands out the most was when I was still living at home with Mum. I think I was 18 and I had just returned from an emotionally exhausting visit to Sydney.
I had gone up there to spend a week or so at my grandmothers place, and whilst I was there, I was spending my week (and all my money) attending multiple dance classes at Brent Street and Sydney Dance Company. After only a couple of days, my (now deceased) grandmother and I had a massive fight this one argument. I don’t really remember what it was over, but I was actually quite shocked and upset over something that she had said. Something about me being a burden, and, oh that’s right, I confronted her about overhearing her conversation with my Uncle the previous day, in which she told him that I was stealing from her and was just using her so I could get money.
I remember when I heard that conversation, I left her place and went for a walk and called mum in absolute tears – upset because of what she had said, but moreso that it was coming from my grandmother!! In saying that though, she was a bit of stubborn ball-busting old lady, who was so set in concrete in her ways, she would refuse to listen to logic and reason… In hindsight, I guess it was also one of the reasons why we clashed so much.
…but that, again, is a whole different story.
So anyway, this one day I get home from the city and we have this big fight. There and then I pack my bag and tell her that I’m done with her, and no longer want anything to do with her. And I walked out the door.
As I’m walking down the driveway to head towards the train station, I’m fighting back this uncontrollable urge to completely break down into tears: I hadn’t actually planned to storm out like that, nor had I planned on exactly what I would do after I stormed out.
So I walked down the driveway, turned the corner and got to the park and had a small emotional breakdown. I didn’t want to call mum. I wanted to sort this out myself. I’m a resourceful person, I could manage something. Then I remembered, a friend of mine was meant to be arriving in Sydney today. I called Georgie and found out where she was staying, and after crying on the phone, she said I was more than welcome to crash with her for the next two nights before I head home.
What she didn’t tell me, was that she had made a friend on the train to Sydney. When I arrived, I met Dileep. He was a gorgeous, tall, dark, Sri Lankan guy with an incredible athletic body, and unbelievably flawless skin. He was beautiful. I’m not surprised Georgie and Dileep were instantly attracted to each other… beautiful people tend to do that. Like attracts like, and all that jazz.
So over the next two days I got to know more about Dileep. Fascinating and down to earth. A real mummy’s boy. Loves his family, and lived in Melbourne earning a pretty penny working at a historic and prestigious hotel.
We had such a great couple of days together. We played tourist with Dileep. Took him to Bondi; took him out clubbing; shopping; he took us out for brunch and dinner, it was such a fantastic time. It wasn’t until I saw him naked in the sauna, and saw him naked, that I realised exactly why Georgie was so fixated on Dileep.
**DISCLAIMER: Just for the record, no, we weren’t naked in the sauna, nor was it *that* kind of sauna. It was the Hotel sauna, and I was wearing my boardies. He was in (well-packed) speedos, and burnt his bum on the actual heater element. We doused him with cold water, but he still had to go to hospital and got quite a severe burn, and subsequently a nasty little scar. The heather melted a small part of the speedos to his skin, and had to have them surgically removed. It was rather terrifying at the time. Poor guy.
So, when it was time for us to leave, Dileep had decided to head back to Melbourne at the same time. Georgie and I were catching the train, and he convinced Dileep to catch the train with us – just so they could spend the last few hours of their ‘relationship’ together. Once we were on the train and halfway into our 8-9hr journey, Georgie convinced Dileep to stay in town with us for a couple of days.
However, Georgie kind of didn’t ask his parents if D could stay with them. He, for some reason was still convinced that they were unaware he was gay.
Girl, Blind Freddy would know you were gay at twenty-paces. He’d hear you swishing as you walk and know instantly. *lol* So, naturally, they asked if D could stay at my place. I called my mum and explained the situation and she was fine with it. It was strange, but she just went with it. (My mum is pretty awesome like that!).
We finally arrived home around 2 – 2:30am, and Georgie’s mum picked us up from the train station and dropped D and I at my place. I introduced him to my mum, then we got organised for bed.
The following night, when we got organised for bed, I went to bed and crashed and left him sitting outside talking to his family on the phone.
Being the heavy sleeper I am, I’m usually completely unaware of anything that happens whilst I’m asleep. In saying that, when I woke up the next morning, I was missing half my pyjamas, Dileep was spooning me, he was snoring, and the door was open. I kinda freaked out for all different reasons, ‘OMG THERE’S A HOT NAKED GUY SPOONING ME! OMG! GEORGIES BOYFRIEND-SLASH-FLING IS SPOONING ME!! OH GOD, WHAT IF MY MOTHER WALKS IN? OH GOD, WE’LL HAVE TO HAVE THAT CONVERSATION!! HOW DID MY TOP COME OFF? WHERE IS MY TOP? I NEED TO PEE!! HOW DO I GET OUT OF BED WITHOUT WAKING HIM UP?’
I slithered my way out from under D’s arm, army-rolled out of the bed onto the ground and found my top, put it on and just as I put my top on and walked towards the door, mum appears in the doorway, ‘sorry honey, did I wake you up? I thought you boys might be up sooner and I cooked breaksfast. Eggs, bacon, toast. Ya hungry?’. I wasn’t really paying attention, because I was too fixated on my racing heart wondering if mum had previously seen me in bed with a naked guy.
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!!!
‘So THAT’S what I can smell. Well, I was just getting up to pee, but it smells awesome. I don’t know if I should wake him up?!’. Mum walked off back to the kitchen whilst I went to pee.
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!!!
I walked back into the bedroom, closed the door and sat on the edge of the bed. Behind me I heard some movement and then felt a hand on my back and this smooth Sri Lankan accent, ‘What are you doing? What time is it? Are you coming back to bed?’.
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!!!
Turns out, nothing happened at all. I waited until later on when D was in the shower, and I called Georgie and told him what happened. Or, what didn’t happen to be more precise. He said that’s just what he’s like apparently. He just likes to cuddle.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved when Dileep announced he was returning to Melbourne. Georgie, naturally, was devastated and heart-broken. His whirlwind romance was drawing to an end, and like the good friend I am, I was there to hold his hand and talk some sense into him.
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