Daily Prompt – All Grown Up

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

Even as a person in their early-thirties, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up…

Daily Prompt – An Extreme Tale

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” — Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

When was the last time that sentence accurately described your life?

I can sum this up in two words:

ex. boyfriend.

Daily Prompt – Never Too Late

Is there a person you should’ve thanked, but never had the chance? Is there someone who helped you along the way without even realizing it? Here’s your chance to express your belated;gratitude.

I have a lot of people that I should thank for a plethora of reasons, but perhaps not for the reasons you may be expecting.

To my first Dance teachers, thank you all so much for acknowledging my talent and my future potential, but thank you also for not pushing me the way I should have been pushed and challenging me the way you should have. Whilst I thought that I was excelling, I realise that I wad in an environment that was incredibly limited and I should have had the courage to move to a capital city much sooner that I did in order to truly experience a real Dance culture and discover the challenges and improvements I’d been seeking for so many years.

Thankyou to all those cunts throughout my childhood who bullied me, and made my life a living hell and a constant struggle. Those of you who pushed me you far resulting in depression and suicidal tendencies. Thankyou for forcing me to go through some of the most horrible and painful years of my life, day after day, showing me that I truly am quite resilient and can overcome any obstacle that life throws at me. Because of you, I’ve become the strong independent person I am today.

Thankyou to the people in my day to day life who continue to disappoint and let me down, and show their unreliability. You are the reason I generally dislike people, and the reason  I chose to keep  everybody at an arm’s length. You’ve taught me that the only person I can and should only ever count on is myself, because if something doesn’t work out, I only have myself to blame. It’s solidified my independence and self reliance, and I’m comfortable with that.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/never-too-late/

Daily Prompt – Wrong Turns

When was the last time you got lost? Was it an enjoyable experience, or a stressful one? Tell us all about it.

It’s rare for me to get lost. I’m always the navigator.

Mar 26: Alone But Not Lonely

Do you enjoy being alone? What do you do when you’re by yourself?

Dear Hulk, If you ever read this, please don’t be offended or take what I’m about to say personally… xx

I love being alone.

Well, in the right context. I have always been quite independent, ever since I was a little kid. From an early age, I learnt that it’s true what they say – the only person you can truly depend on is yourself. As a result, when I got a bit older and began travelling interstate by myself, I realised that I didn’t need to depend on anybody. All I needed was myself, and that was fine. It wasn’t until I moved out of home, moved interstate, and found myself living in a share house that I realised just how much I enjoyed being alone.

I was responsible to nobody else, except me. If I wanted to just come home after work and eat a whole tub of ice-cream… I could. If I wanted to come home after work and just go straight to bed and sleep for 12hrs – I could. If I wanted to take a day off to see a couple of movies, I’d do it on a Tuesday because it was ‘Tight-Arse Tuesday’ and all tickets were $9 – so I’d end up seeing something like 4 movies back-to-back. If I wanted to spend a Sunday doing nothing but sleeping, then I would. If I woke up one morning and wanted to go on an adventure, then I’d just do it. I had nobody to consider; nobody to consult with. I was a free-agent and could do whatever I wanted. It was a good time. But in saying that, I did also get quite lonely. Yes, I had a small close-knit circle of friends to fall back on when I wanted somebody to hang out with… but I had a good balance of company and solitude.

Just recently, I was away on a work trip, and found myself feeling quite lonely at night time because I missed having Hulk around… but at the same time, there were some quiet moments that I truly enjoyed being by myself. Swimming in the ocean at 7am when there isn’t a single person on the beach was truly an exhilarating experience. Granted, the water was incredibly cold (hence why it was completely deserted), but there was just something about that moment that I truly loved. Being able to experience that was something that I would never have done had it not been for the fact that I was away at the coast, and only because a few other colleagues had been discussing it the night prior.

I didn’t care. I just enjoyed being in the ocean. It’s been so long since I had been in the ocean, and it’s an experience that I miss quite a lot, and an experience that I have craved for a considerable amount of time.

Standing in icy water, armpit deep in the water on an empty beach, watching the sun begin to rise is something that I’m actually quite glad that I got to experience by myself. I didn’t have to share it with anybody else. It’s an experience and a memory that was, and forever will be, just mine.

Temporary solitude amongst the icy waters of Torquay Beach

When I got back to the hotel, I had quite a long hot shower (to defrost myself) and sat outside on the balcony in my oversized fluffy robe, watching the sun continue to rise, and listening to the echo of the waves crashing on the shore in the distance… and I realised that I could happily wake up to this every single day. I actually began to think that I would like to come back here at some point, purely just to focus on doing some serious writing… like working on a novel or something equally creative.

…however, to stay at that resort would cost an absolute fortune, and I simply couldn’t justify that sort of luxurious indulgence.

Day 19 – Accomplishment

What accomplishment are you most proud of?

Thinking back over the years, I really can’t identify any significant achievement I’ve made; goal I’ve reached; award I’ve won that stands out on it’s own. And I haven’t had children, so I can’t be one of those people who harp on about ‘oh the greatest gift I could give to the world is my GREATEST achievement, and that’s my darling children, who just so amazing and talented and good looking – they really do make the world a better place by just existing’.

You know, those people. Ugh.

For me, I would probably say one of the best things I’ve ever achieved was moving out of home when I was 19. Being the ‘sheltered’ country kid moving to the big city and starting a completely new chapter of my life, is probably one of the best things that I have ever done. Social media has allowed me to see what other people I went to school with are doing… and so many of them are still living back in my hometown.

Married.

Kids.  

Grossly overweight.

It’s as though they just accepted whatever life threw at them; as though there wasn’t any desire to go off and explore, or be independent in their lives whatsoever. They are the people who settled. They make me feel quite glad that I got out of there. At the same time it’s a bit saddening that they just accepted that lifestyle, regardless of whether it was warranted or not.