Write a post inspired by your sixteenth birthday.
I was never really one to make a big deal about celebrating my birthday – that kind of died off when I was about 8 or 9… I really just didn’t find the fun in having a party, and I knew that mum wasn’t entirely keen on the idea of a party either – so it worked out for the best.
From the age of 9 or 10, my birthday just became a guaranteed day off school, and mum and I almost had a ritual where I’d get to sleep in, then we’d go into town and go shopping, and do something like go have lunch at a nice restaurant and then go see a movie, or go out to dinner and then go see a play or some kind of show at one of the theatres in town.
That was heaven for me.
As I got older, and I feel somewhat guilty for even thinking it (let alone repeating it now), but I kind of grew out of that ritual. My birthday just became another day. Nothing special. Sure, I would get a couple of presents from my friends, but I never made a big deal out of it. I didn’t have parties or anything – it was always something really low-key.
For example, if, by chance, I did want to do something, then I’d make a suggestion to the group that I might go out for lunch… if anybody wants to join, then they’re more than welcome to… or if it was hot enough, then I’d go to the pool, or down the river.
I don’t actually remember what I did for my 16th birthday.
And it’s because I don’t make a big deal out of my birthday. I do however have some vague recollection that we had some kind of big group birthday, because for something like eight or nine days in a row, there was somebodys birthday.
It was one of the most expensive weeks of the year, because we all had to buy presents for the other eight people – sometimes requiring an entire weekend of planning and shopping with other members of the group.
I remember one year we had a big group party at one of my friends places. She lived just outside of town and back then, I had a huge crush on her. I know, how wrong was I!! (But in saying that, she turned out to be a lesbian anyway, so it’s not as though we were going to be able to pursue any kind of romantic relationship anyway hehehe). Anyway, I remember being at her place for a big party, and I’m sure that it was a group birthday celebration.
Some of the kids were drinking… I was quite happily snacking away of Cheezels, lollies and pizza and hanging outside near the bonfire. Back then it was all about Dawsons Creek and how it literally mirrors all the dramas within our social circle – and each of us was a character of the show, because of the life that particular character on the show.
I originally started off as Pacey (played by Joshua Jackson), and then I became Jack (the token gay guy). Ahh the days of the Creek. It’s so embarrassing looking back on it now, but back then, it was our entire world.
Sigh. Ahh the joys of overly emotional teeange life.
Anyway, I remember this one night we were all outside chatting away and being drama queens, and one of the things that we used to do was break off for small (and serious) one-on-one conversations with people… especially if it involved two people liking each other.
So I’d be sitting there talking to one of my friends and then I’d notice two of the girls disappear for a while… then they’d return and one of the girls would ask me to go for a walk and have a heart-to-heart. Basically, I’d get grilled about my feelings for this particular girl, and being all shy (oh, and not to mention incredibly sexually confused) just played coy and kept saying that I’d rather we just remain friends… and by the night we, of course, ended up being dared to kiss each other in a good ol’ game of Truth Or Dare.
I’ve always hated that game…!!
That was basically all T.O.D. is – daring people to kiss each other. But as teeangers, oh it was so much drama. And if anybody bailed on a dare, then they’d end up being interrogated about it later that night
‘So, why didn’t you kiss her?’
Well, I didn’t want to.. I mean, I wanted to but I was too nervous.
So why didn’t you kiss her? You like her right?
Well, yeah, but I felt too nervous – everybody was watching.
So, stop being a little pussy and just do it. You like her don’t you?
Yeah, but I don’t know if she feels the same. And what if I kiss her and I’m a bad kisser? What if she’s a bad kisser? What if I have bad breath? What if she has bad breath? Eww. What if she doesn’t like me? It’s just too much pressure.
Well, I know for a fact that she likes you, and she wants to kiss you.
How do you know that?
She told me. I’ve always known. I’ve known for a while actually.
WHAT? How long has she liked me?
A while now… a few months.
Well, why didn’t she say anything?
She’s probably too nervous just like you. Do you like her?
Yeah of course, but I don’t want to jeopardise the friendship… she’s one of my best friends, and if it doesn’t work, I don’t want to not be friends with her…
Sidenote: If a guy says that about a girl… he’s gay. I know from personal experience. I was that guy!!
OH MY GOD. THE PRESSURE!!
What made it worse was that there was a whole bunch of us staying the night, and basically the whole night became a very, very long sleepless night plagued with questions of will they? won’t they? regarding us kissing.
I think it was about 4:30am or so, and I went in to talk to her, and we were talking about it for quite a while – she felt just as uncomfortable as I did, and we kissed on the lips. Just a kiss. No tongue. No open mouth. Just a kiss. We then sat back looking at each other and just burst into laughter. We opened the door to her room to find a handful of the others hiding just outside, trying to listen in on what was happening.
We announced that we kissed, but no other details were divulged. Shreiks of wwwwoooooOOOOOOOoooooo echoed in the hallway… and then it was the Spanish Inquisition on every single detail of our secret lip-lock. Who said what? Who leant in first? Whose hands were where? How long was it? What did it feel like? How do I feel now? Will I do it again? do I want to do it again? etc.
By this stage, I just wanted to sleep.
And just like the ridiculously dramatic will they? won’t they? relationship between Joey and Dawson down at the Creek, our ‘relationship’ became an exact replica of that.
OH. THE. DRAMA!!