Do you still feel pressure of conform? If no, what age did it stop?
In certain aspects of my life, I still feel there is almost an obligation for me to conform – regardless of whether or not I want to for whatever reason. Certain situations in my life don’t allow me to question people and / or their actions which I find so unbelievably frustrating.
Even if it’s something that I don’t agree with, or don’t support, there is an expectation of me to be a team player, whereas I would be the one to point out all the faults and reasons not to support it.
But if I do that, then I’m not seen as a team player, instead, I’m viewed as being too negative. I view it as being logical.
Rather than work out the answers to issues as we go along, why not sit down and brainstorm all the possible variables for a situation, and then work out what the solutions for those variables will be. I’m the sort of person that asks the questions that others either don’t want to ask, or simply don’t consider. That’s how my brain works. You tell me you want to begin some kind of venture, and I’ll immediately think of at least a dozen different questions that I know you haven’t thought of, or can’t answer.
The bit that really drives me up the wall, is that I will at least voice my concerns with whoever is in charge, which is usually completely disregarded, then later down the track something will happen that they didn’t anticipate (and something that I voiced a concern over) and then everything becomes frantic whilst they scramble to find a solution.
Meanwhile, I completely walk away from the situation washing my hands of it because I tried to bring it to their attentions, and they ignored me. It’s just that it happens more than I would like it to – you’d think that by now, surely, they’d actually value my input and listen to what I have to say, because I’m sure they don’t find any pleasure in seeing me sitting there saying I TOLD YOU SO… yet, they continue to let these situations happen.
My input means nothing, so I don’t get involved. But if I don’t get involved, I’m viewed as not being a team player.
I just can’t deal with these basic bitches.
The cherry on top of it all, is that these people are earning a fuckload more money than I am, and yet ignore what I have to say, even when I’m right.
So yes, as much as it frustrates me, and as much as it makes me start flipping’ tables in my mind, I really don’t have any choice but to just shut and be a team player – it’s my job, and that’s what I’m there getting paid to do, even though I might be surrounded by idiots.
As for the rest of my life, no, I’m such a non-conformist. I think I was the most when I was in high school because it’s all about trying to fit in and being part of a little group of friends, or a clique, but even then, it drove me crazy. I’m too independent to be conforming to what other people expect or demand – sometimes I go to the extreme of just being so incredibly stubborn simply to make a point or stand my ground, even if I’m completely aware that I really don’t need to be doing so.
*sigh* I’m starting to sound like a bit of a complicated individual. *lol*