Daily Prompt – Make It Anywhere

“If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere,” goes the famous song about New York City. Is there a place — a city, a school, a company — about which you think (or thought) the same? Tell us why, and if you ever tried to prove that claim.

I had that thought when I moved to Melbourne when I was 19.

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Daily Prompt – City Planners

If you could clone one element from another city you’ve visited — a building, a cultural institution, a common street food, etc. — and bring it back to your own hometown, what would it be?

I think it would have to be infrastructure. Roads; rail and tram networks; more efficient public transport systems. Seriously, how is it 2014 and we’re STILL without an airport rail link?!? Oh that’s right, because we’re so behind the 8-ball it’s ridiculous.

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Daily Prompt – Game of Groans

Think about an object, an activity, or a cultural phenomenon you really don’t like. Now write a post (tongue in cheek or not — your call!) about why it’s the best thing ever.

Jeebus, where the fuck do I start… Football maybe? Chino’s? Hipsters? Dumbass people on public transport? Stupid drivers? Fucktards in general…?
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Daily Prompt: Que Sera Sera

Do you believe in fate or do you believe you can control your own destiny?

I generally believe in fate. I think that everything happens for a reason – whether that reason is clear or not. I know that there are people who believe that they can control their own destiny, but I generally disagree with that view of thinking.

I believe that fate is what controls our lives. We can try to control it as much as possible, but things happen to each of us for all different reasons.

Hands up any of you who have had one of those days where everything just seems to go completely wrong – and before you know it, you’re already wishing you had’ve just stayed in bed.

I have had a countless amount of those days. For example, just recently, I slept through my alarm, waking up when I was supposed to actually be catching the bus on the way to work. I rushed around the house in a complete panic getting ready and packing my bag, only to race out of the building and find myself stuck on the wrong side of the road waiting for a break in the traffic. Whilst I was waiting to cross, the bus that I had intended on catching, turned the corner and left  – without me. Awesome. I then had to wait another 20mins for the next bus, which ended up being late, only to then get stuck in peak-hour traffic, and subsequently break down a few blocks from the train station. By this stage I had already called work to tell them I was running quite late. I power-walked down to the train station, only to discover that there was a delay on the train line I catch, and I had to catch a different train into the city, and then change again in order for me to get to the station I needed to get to. By this stage, I was already starting to get a bit sweaty from being so rushed, but I could deal with it when I got to the office.

The train arrived, and then stopped in between stations for another 5 minutes, waiting for the train in front of us to move out of the station – it was having an engine fault. By this stage I was already 20mins late for work. I then (finally) got my station, and got off to catch a tram, and just missed the tram I needed and the next one wasn’t for another 9minutes. Instead, I ended up walking the rest of the way. It took longer than 9 minutes, but no tram had passed me by the time I got to the office – so I took some very minor comfort knowing that it was faster to walk rather than wait for a tram.

All up… I was on hour late to work.

It’s just like when you’re driving somewhere and you really want to just get there… and you end up getting every. single. red. light. After about 5 in a row, you’re ready to tear your hair out, and screaming out to God / Mother Nature / Life as to why it seems to hate you so much.

Can you control that? Not at all. It’s out of your control.

In my situation, could I have controlled any of that? I could have gotten up when I was supposed to, but who’s to say that the same thing wouldn’t have happened?? I can say that in my experience, it has. I’ve had days where it’s taken me almost two hours to get to work. Granted, it has only happened a couple of times, but it has happened. And it’s all out of my control. I can only do so much… the rest, as I said before, I believe is simply fate.

Sometimes I think life is there to test me. To try and see what my breaking point is. Maybe it’s God (not that I acutally believe in God) or Mother Nature, or some other spiritual entity, watching me, thinking ‘Now, what can I do today, to really piss him off?’. Sometimes I feel as though life just seems to hate me. Sometimes it makes me feel that I shouldn’t ever leave the house, and should just confine myself to my apartment – but knowing my track record, I’d do that, and then have a three-day power outage.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/26/prompt-que-sera-sera/

Daily Prompt: We Built This City

What do you love most about the city / town / place that you live in? What do you like the least about it? If you were mayor, what would be the most important problem you’d tackle? How would you tackle it?

As somebody who grew up in a very, very small farming town, the thought of going to a big city was both scary and exciting. When I decided to move to Melbourne, I was so full of anxiety, but I saw it as a ‘challenge’ and it’s a decision I’ve never regretted.

I love living in Melbourne – I just love Melbourne. I find it’s just one of those cities that, generally, is very easy going. People tend to be quite nice and friendly; the city is laid out quite well, so everything is easy to get to; the public transport is generally quite good – it could be improved quite significantly, but overall it does a solid job.

Melbourne is a city of multiculturalism, fashion, food and coffee. Especially coffee!! Melburnians LOVE their coffee and will have no hesitation if they think it tastes like mud. It has also previously been voted as the World’s Most Liveable City! It also hosts some of the biggest international events such as the Grand Prix, Melbourne Cup and the Spring Racing Carnival, Melbourne Fashion Week. Plus, with a constant array of galleries, theatre, musicals, and international music artists touring, there is always something to do in Melbourne!! Oh, and we have now joined the elite list of cities to take part in the Real Housewives franchise (Suck it, Sydney!!).

The only downfall about Melbourne is the weather. We have shit weather 90% of the time. If it’s not the standard grey-overcast-cold weather, it’s four seasons in a day. If you’re planning on visiting, ALWAYS prepare for cold and rain at some point during your stay. It’s inevitable!!

If I was the Mayor of the city and hypothetically had unlimited funds to tackle the city’s biggest problems, the first thing I would do is dramatically increase the public transport infrastructure. There’s so much room for improvement, and during peak times, it’s terribly overcrowded, and there’s nothing worse than running late to work, getting to the train station and then spending 20mins waiting to get on a train, because all the trains coming through are jam-packed.

I’d also create a public transport link to the airport. Places like Sydney and Brisbane have a rail-link connecting the airport to the city, and Melbourne certainly needs one. We have a bus shuttle service, but you can only catch that from the city. I’d want there to be a rail option for those who live in the suburbs.

Which brings me to my next point – cross-suburban rail network. I’d further our current government’s plans to develop a rail network to link suburban lines, and completely bypassing the need to go via the city. As it stands, commuters need to travel into the city, in order to change trains and travel out again if they wish to get to another station on a different train line. A cross-network ‘bypass’ would resolve that issue… however, it would require significant research into how many users this would affect.

…not to mention millions (if not billions) of dollars.
 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/09/prompt-built-city/

Daily Prompt: Fifteen Minutes

You have 15 minutes to address the whole world live (on television or radio — choose your format). What would you say?

So, does it have to be to the whole world? Can’t it just be to my country, or even better, my own city? I don’t want to have to rant on for 15 mins to the world – it’s too political. Granted, there are a number of topics I could rant about: war, politics, hunger, money etc but it’s basically too much for my brain to handle right now.

…so instead I’ve decided to address the people of Australia. The community of people who catch public transport.

**COMMUNITY SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT**

Alright you bunch of fuckwits, it’s time you had a Transport Education, or as I’m going to call it, a Transpucation.

There seems to be a number of people who still don’t seem to have grasped the basic fundamentals when it comes to catching public transport, and how to conduct ones self whilst on public transport, so here are six (6) tips to remember when you’re out and about:

1. Use common sense.

Now, it would seem that when it comes to public transport, most of you don’t seem to actually have any common sense. Or, if you do, you don’t use it. For example, if you are travelling during peak hour and your bus / train / tram happens to look like this:

…so much space!

then it’s best for everybody if you just accept that this one is not available, and you have to wait for the next one.

There’s no harm in suggesting that people ‘move down’ the aisles in order for others to actually get on board. Public transport will only work efficiently if the people travelling on it are efficient as well. However, you also need to be mindful that generally speaking, people don’t like being told to do anything, let alone asked anything. You may as well be asking them to give you a kidney.

Now, if you are waiting at a stop / station and your transportation arrives with people squished against the doors and windows like this:

your first reaction should be:

Oh well, this one is too crowded, I’ll just wait for the next one.

instead of:

LOOK AT HOW MUCH ROOM THERE IS FOR ME!! I’M SO TINY AND TAKE UP NO SPACE AT ALL, I’LL JUST SLIDE ON IN AND I WON’T IRRITATE ANYBODY ELSE AT ALL.

This is something that I see multiple times per day.

It really shouldn’t be so difficult.

What exactly is it about all the people sandwiched in like sardines that makes you convince yourself that there’s enough room for you on there? Seriously, what is it? I am also in the process of developing a medical team to diagnose this problem and working on either medication for it and / or a surgical response. This will hopefully be up and running by mid-2014. Initially we will be looking at appointing a team of surveillance officers who will be responsible for identifying these individuals and report them for a review.

Also, if you’re one of the people who’s decided to stand in the doorway, you need to realised that you are obligated to actually move out of the way everytime the train / tram stops, in order for other commuters to leave the carriage. This requires you to physically exit the carriage and patiently wait on the sides next to the door, allowing the passengers to disembark without interruption, and then you can re-enter the carriage, take up a (now) available seat, and continue on your merry little way.

2. Bags on seats

For all of you out there who catch transport, especially during peak-hour, who of you has gotten on a bus / train / tram that’s already packed, only to find that there’s a free seat with somebody’s backpack / shopping / handbag on it?

I thought so.

Now, have you then gone one step further and politely asked that person to move their bag so you, or a fellow traveller could sit down?

Nice.

And did that person:

  1. Groan
  2. Roll their eyes
  3. Act as though you’ve asked them to shave their head and it’s now the end of the world
  4.  All the above, -OR-
  5. Tell you to go fuck yourself.

?!?! Anybody? Are any of you guilty of this yourself?

‘Excuse me, duck lips… does your bag have it’s own ticket??’

Right, so let’s make it perfectly clear – and I’m definitely talking to all the school students out there – BAGS DO NOT BELONG ON SEATS!! The basic rule of public transport is this:

if it doesn’t have a ticket, it doesn’t get aseat

Now, I know that a vast number of you will have questions about this, but if you’re unsure, please don’t hesitate to contact the Public Transport Authority and they will happily explain it to you in further detail. If required, they can demonstrate using pictures.

3. Seats for elderly / injured / pregnant.

We’ve all seen them. They’re the seats right next to the door that are reserved for those who are:

  • elderly
  • injured
  • pregnant
  • disabled

Now, if you happen to be sitting in one of those seats, you are required to give up your seat for anybody who fits into that category.

Unless you prefer to be a selfish ignorant moll, like this woman.

It’s not that difficult. You shouldn’t need to be asked to move. You should be exercising you common sense (See Item 1.) and vacating the seat voluntarily. If you end up having an argument either with the person requesting the seat, or with a fellow commuter who might be yelling at you for being so selfish, then you need to STOP AND THINK about why they may possibly be upset with you.

meanwhile…Whatever you do, don’t ever, EVER take that risk in China…

And if you’re pregnant... the Pregnant Police are keeping tabs on you and your selfish shitbag behaviour. Nobody is impressed with you for yelling at the pregnant woman about how you ‘got the seat first’.

4. Music / phone conversations

Let’s start with conversations. Regardless of whether you’re having a conversation with a person next to you, or if you’re having a conversation with a person on the telephone, you need to be mindful of the other commuters around you.

WHEN YOU TALK REALLY LOUDLY LIKE THIS FOR A TWENTY MINUTE TRAIN TRIP INTO THE CITY, AND THE TRAIN IS REALLY QUIET, YOU MAY AS WELL JUST BE DOING THIS FOR THE WHOLE TIME:

Nobody, and I mean, nobody wants to hear what you have to say. Especially when you feel so obligated to discuss with your best friend, over the phone, the various sexual positions you and Bazza (the guy you went home with after your drunken night out last night after work) got up to. We don’t need to know what his cock’s like, and how sore your vagina is, or how many times you guys did it before you vomited on each other from too much motion.

It’s 8am in the morning. We’re all tired. Nobody is proud of you for being a drunken skank and going to work in the same clothes you wore yesterday. You’re a dirty whore and everybody is thinking it, whilst wishing you would just shut the fuck up.

MEANWHILE, for those of you who enjoy listening to music whilst commuting, that’s great. No doubt, you feel like this:

And that’s great. Keep your singing voice inside your head when you want to belt out some Celine Dion at 8am. However, please be aware that your fellow travellers might not have the same up-and-at-’em attitude that you might have. They may have other issues on their mind that have them worried or stressed, and the last thing they need to hear at 8am is a muffled nightclub blasting from your ears.

If others can hear your music, then it’s too loud.

5. Bikes / prams

Bikes / Prams + Crowded Train = NOT. A. CHANCE!

First of all, if you’re taking your bike on the train, doesn’t that actually defeat the entire purpose of having a bike in the first place?? Until such time as the Public Transport Authority decide to make a carriage dedicated to strictly bikes and prams, they do not belong on crowded public transport.

But what about those of you taking the to creche at work?

Well then you need to be more proactive in the way you approach this. We all understand that travelling with an infant requires a lot of additional equipment, clothes, blankets, wipes, nappies, bottle etc etc, but this can also be carried in a backpack. Alternatively, you can invest in a wearable baby-harness / pouch, or fold your pram up if you absolutely must use transport, to avoid your bulky pram blocking the ailes and doorways and inconveniencing fellow commuters.

and where exactly do you think you’re putting your bike / pram??

6. Keep to the left.

It’s that important, Beyonce wrote it into a song.

“…to the left, to the left…”

When you’re travelling to and from your transport at the train station, always tell yourself ‘to the left, to the left’.

When you’re taking the escalator? To the left, to the left.

When you’re on the stairs?To the left, to the left.

They’re supposed to look like this:

But for a majority of you, you seem to forget that some people actually don’t want to partake in the Line Ride. Some of us have places to be, and by keeping to the left, will allow us to move past the rest of you quickly and calmly.

However, it would appear that some of you don’t seem to know which is your left:

…which just sends people in to a table-flipping rage. This is quite inconsiderate for the other commuters behind you. So if you are one of these people, please don’t be offended when people start yelling at you to move, or trying to push you out of the way to get past. They’re impatient, but you’re also causing their frustration, so you only have yourself to blame. And if you’re blocking the right-side with a suitcase, please don’t be surprised if it gets thrown over the side. You should always keep a suitcase a step or two in front of you on an escalator. That way if it falls, it won’t pose an injury to anybody else but you.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/12/07/fifteen-minutes/