Daily Prompt: Keeping Up with the Jones’

Tell us about the one luxury item you wish you could afford, in as much detail as you can. Paint a picture for us.

I wonder how many people are writing about the same things in response to this prompt? You know, things like bigger TV’s, flashy cars, the latest iDevice, expensive jewellery / clothing / shoes etc.

Well, I’ve got one thing. An overseas holiday.

I’ve never actually had a holiday. Yes, I have travelled, and I’ve even been overseas to do so (although, that was only New Zealand and it’s only been twice!) but still, it counts (although not according to my passport that still remains stamp-less!). Anywhere I’ve travelled to has been for either two reasons: family and / or work.

But what about me?! What about travelling for me?! I know of far too many people who are always banging on about how they’re off overseas for x-amount of weeks, or they’ve just come back from such-and-such a country, or they’re planning a 2 week trip to Thailand (again) for the third or fourth time this year, or how they’ve just sent their child off overseas for a six-week trip to Europe.

Are you fucking KIDDING ME!?!? How on earth do people afford these things? Seriously, how much money are you making if you can afford so much travel?? Even if you are lucky enough to get cheap flights and possibly, cheap accommodation, yes, that makes it much more affordable, but some people seem to just have money coming out of their ears, and those are the people who love to flaunt it in everybody’s face.

LOOK AT ME!! LOOK, DAMN IT!! LOOK AT WHAT I’M DOING WITH MY DISPOSABLE INCOME THAT YOU CLEARLY DON’T HAVE!! LOOK AT HOW THIS MAKES ME BETTER THAN YOU!!

…fuck off.

I want to travel for me. And Hulk. But mainly for my own self-indulgent pleasure.

I want to find myself on a beach somewhere. Don’t necessarily care right now, those details are secondary. A beach with white sand and crystal clear waters. Massages by (or on) the beach twice a day. Copious amounts of sleeping and lazing around in the sun to work on getting a fabulous tan (instead of this pasty-white skin that I’m rocking at the moment). Fresh produce everyday, fruits and vegetables and seafood. Lordy, so much seafood!

I want to go canoeing, and snorkelling on reefs, and taking underwater photos of beautiful fish and turtles. I want to go swimming with dolphins, and then end up crying uncontrollably from the onslaught of raw pent-up emotion. I want to find myself in paradise; in a place where the rest of the world doesn’t even exist. I want to completely forget about the stresses of work, and working two jobs. Forget about the stresses of being constantly tired, and being time poor, and having late nights and late dinners. I want to be able to eat dinner at a normal time, and eat it at the beach!!

But the worst part of it all, is that some bitch out there is going to turn around and tell me that they’ve just come back from 3 weeks in the Maldives, and tell me about how utterly ahmaaaahhhzing it was, and that I ‘simply must go there sometime’.

Oh should I? Thanks for confirming that one for me.

 

 

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