Daily Prompt – Zoltar’s Revenge

In a reversal of Big, the Tom Hanks classic from the 80s, your adult self is suddenly locked in the body of a 12-year-old kid. How do you survive your first day back in school?

 
I remember being 12… I was in year 6 at primary school, in a school of only maybe thirty children. In my grade there was only eight of us. And they were cunts.

Daily Prompt – Back Of The Queue

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but never got around to starting (an activity, a hobby, or anything else, really)? Tell us about it — and tell us about what’s keeping you from doing it.

I’ve always wanted to be able to go back in time and re-do my life. But I can’t.

Why?

Because, fucking time travel hasn’t been invented yet.

Daily Prompt – Patron Saint Of…?

In 300 years, if you were to be named the patron saint of X, what would you like X to be? Places, activities, objects — all are fair game.

Oh this is simple… Sarcasm. The Patron Saint of Sarcasm.

Mar 5 – Feel Like Myself

When or where do you feel most like yourself?

 
Hmmm, good question.

I think generally I’m usually my ‘real’ self around those who I have a really strong connection with. That’s not to say that I’m not being ‘me’ when I’m with everybody else I know, but there are different versions of me, depending on who I’m around, and the situations that I find myself in.

Just reading that, I realise that I’m actually quite weird, and perhaps even to a degree, I’m not even allowing myself to be honest with myself in that I’m not being my ‘true’ self 100% of the time… and if it were somebody else coming to me and saying that about themselves, then I’d be telling them exactly that – you’re not being true to who you are, and you shouldn’t feel as though you need to censor yourself in order to fit in.

…and yet I can’t take my own advice.

Typical.

Thinking back over the years, I’ve been quite up and down in terms of ‘who’ I am and the version of ‘me’ that I show to people which, in hindsight, is a bit stupid. Why am I so afraid to be my weird crazy self? At what point did I become so heavily concerned about editing myself in order to please other people. How fucking wrong does that sound!? Look, I completely agree that when you’re me, and you tend to have a mouth like a sailor, there are times and places when that is acceptable, and when it is not; I get it. I truly do… but my potty-mouth aside, why should I have to compromise who I am, just to keep other people happy??

Over the past couple of years moreso, I’ve discovered that I’ve done this to myself more and more, and I feel as though every time I do that, I’m chipping away a little piece of me. It’s like that saying, ‘Everytime you make a wish, a fairy gets it’s wings’ in which the opposite is something along the lines of ‘Every time you do something bad, God kills a puppy’ … and that’s kind of how I feel when I believe that I’m compromising who I am. Every time I have to pretend that I’m somebody I’m not, a piece of me dies inside.

So if I happen to be having a conversation with you, and I just happen to mention in passing that I’m dead on the inside… I’m probably being serious.

But then, rather than focusing on what has already happened, I should be putting more of an effort into discovering alternative and positive pathways to rectify this situation. Right? Well, I have only a couple of people that I truly feel as though I can be myself around. Literally, I think there’s only 3 of them. Those are the people that I feel really ‘get me’. Perhaps because I can connect with them on a level that is quite rare in others… and so when I find somebody who shares the same traits, I’m hooked.

Let’s be friends!!

But when you’re around people who aren’t like that, it’s a real struggle. I can babble away with random shit that will crack me up with laughter, and to others, it just induces weird looks because they simply don’t understand. And there’s nothing worse than finding something hilarious, only to then have to try and explain why you find it so damn funny you end up with sore cheeks and tears rolling down your face.

Basically, I just need people in my life that share my sense of randomness and my sense of dark, twisted, sarcastic humour. This is why I feel as though people like Kathy Griffin, Chelsea Handler and Whitney Cummings are actually my spirit animals.

Let’s face it, I need sarcastic bitches in my life. Then I can truly be me.

Daily Prompt: Style Icon

Describe your personal style, however you’d like to interpret that — your clothing style, your communication style, your hair style, your eating style, anything.

I really don’t know how to answer this, because I’m not really certain of what my style actually is…

Clothing style: Comfort. I like things to be comfortable and relaxed. I’m not a suit & tie person, I never have. I’ve had to for work, but even then, I’ve certainly not enjoyed it. Sometimes I wish I was, but I simply don’t have the wardrobe space for a plethora of suits and shirts ties. Hell, I don’t even own an iron!

It’s also partly because I work in the fitness industry, so majority of my wardrobe is all gym gear.

Communication Style: Sarcasm.

Most of the time, anything that comes out of my mouth is sarcasm. Sarcasm and humour. I have a tendency to shoot my mouth off and then think about what I’ve said and it’s usually with a touch of remorse and guilt, but most of the time I don’t apologise. Now, I have to make sure that I really think about what I’m going to say before I say it, because I usually just say things as throwaway comments without actually meaning anything by it, however, the people that I say these things too take them seriously and literally and are easily offended or upset by it. And that just annoys me. They should know by now that I’m like this, and to basically just take anything I say with a grain of salt.

Hair Style: A hot mess.

Previously, I had what I referred to as my lesbian hair, which was partially shaved with a little mohawk on top…

…but just not that long, and it didn’t trail down the back of the head – it was just on top. But now it’s growing out and going all curly again. I can’t stand my hair. I had a dream last night that I ended up growing my hair right out and had a small curly afro, and I actually liked it. Clearly, it was more of a nightmare, rather than a dream.

Eating Style: Get in mah belleh.

There is nothing attractive at all about watching me eat. If anything, I see food as some kind of competition – how much food can I stuff into my body, in as little time as possible, before I end up feeling like I either want to vomit or die.

Usually when it comes to dinner with Hulk, he always finishes dinner before me. I end up eating really slowly because I’m too focused on whatever show we’re watching and I take my time… but when it comes to desserts, I inhale mine. Especially when it comes to ice-cream. I can be down to the stick of a Magnum before he’s even eaten off all the chocolate of his.

It’s a bit disgusting.

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/08/daily-prompt-style-2/