Daily Prompt – Trick Or Trick

It’s Halloween, and you just ran out of candy. If the neighborhood kids (or anyone else, really) were to truly scare you, what trick would they have to subject you to?

So, I’m one of those people who hasn’t really got any qualms about watching a scary movie… unless I’m in a big empty house, and I’m all alone and my mind is getting the better of me, then I’m a totally mess.

Daily Prompt – Doppelgänger Alert

You step into an acquaintance’s house for the first time, and discover that everything — from the furniture, to the books, to the art on the wall — is identical to your home. What happens next?

Jane opened the door, and there stood Vanessa, holding a small container. ‘I bought some cake!‘ she said, with a smile on her face. Jane grinned from ear to ear. ‘Fantastic, I was only thinking I should have baked something. This is perfect. I’ll put the kettle on. Come in, come in!’

Daily Prompt – Reverse Shot

What’s your earliest memory involving another person? Recreate the scene — from the other person’s perspective.

One of my earliest memories was perhaps when I was about 2 or 3 years old. I must have only just recently learnt how to walk, and at the time we lived in a small block of flats on the ground floor.

13 June – Friday The 13th

For Friday the 13th: have you ever received a comment that scared you?

 

Nope. If anything, it’s more likely that I would be the one making a comment that would scare people. And you know what, even if I did get a scary comment, I’d probably just laugh it off, because, well, it’s the internet, and you can’t really take anything seriously, because most people are full of shit. They’re all bark and no bite.

Daily Prompt: Groupthink

Write a post that includes dialogue between two people — other than you. (For more of a challenge, try three or more people.)

Sophie couldn’t take it anymore. The unhappiness of her husband’s infidelity was slowly destroying her. She loved him so very much, but at the same time felt so completely betrayed by him. She had known about this for almost twelve months, but had said nothing. It also wasn’t the first time they had had major problems in their relationship. She wasn’t sure what to do, she didn’t want anybody else to know the intimate details of their marriage problems, so she kept everything to herself. Day after day, month after month, the pain just kept eating away at her, and slowly her love for this man, her husband, was becoming more and more a feeling of resentment.

She’d been wanting to say something to him for a while, but she never had the courage to do so. She was too afraid of the confrontation. She was too afraid of how he would react, especially if it was anything like that other time. She vowed to avoid anything that would lead tohim reacting like that again. But most of all, she was afraid for the kids. Her two young sons who knew nothing of the problems in their parents marriage.

Sophie: Hey Steph, it’s me.

Stephanie: Hey, what’s going on?

Sophie: *exhales* not much, just finished hanging out the washing, and put on another load. Thought I’d have a break before I start the vacuuming.

Steph: Jesus, you just don’t stop do ya? You’re like a machine… you’re always doing something, cleaning something, driving somewhere, picking up kids…

Sophie: *laughs* hehehehe yeah, tell me about it. Story of my life. Ugh, girl, I need a fucking holiday.

Steph: Well, then why don’t you and Nathan plan a little getaway somewhere? You two should go away for a long weekend or something. I’ll watch the kids, and you two can… y’know, reconnect. hehehe.

Sophie: HA! Yeah right. The last thing I’d want to do is be alone and feel obligated to reconnect.

Steph: What do you mean? It’d be great for you two. I can’t even remember the last time you two had a holiday…

Sophie: Well… there was…

Steph: *interrupting* No, you’re trip to Cairns doesn’t count, because you had the kids. When was the last time you had a break or a holiday without the kids? Just you two?

Sophie: uuummmm….

Steph: EXACTLY!! Even I’m struggling to think about it… and I reckon you haven’t had a break alone since you had J-J… and that was, what, 12 years ago or something. You’re overdue. So, why don’t you plan it… it doesn’t have to be soon.. make it for a couple of months or something…

Sophie: mmmm… nah, I don’t…

Steph: *interrupts* yeah, make it for like June – July. GO somewhere tropical so you can get a bit of sunshine. You need to get that white body into the sunshine from time to time… Or I’m gonna have to start calling you Casper.

Sophie: Hhehehe. Bitch.

Steph: Seriously, do you want me to help you plan it? it’ll be great… You just need to pick a date, and then get work to approve a day or two of leave so you can really make a proper break out of it. I’ll help you organise flights and hotels and stuff. Oh yay, now I’m excited!!

Sophie: You can’t help yourself, can you?

Steph: Not really. Besides, what are sisters for. It’ll be fun… Then when I need you to look after Emily, I’m gonna call in that favour. hehehe

Sophie: Yeah, yeah. No, I don’t think I want to go away to connect.

Steph: What do you mean?

Sophie: I mean, I think I’d rather disconnect instead.

Steph: What do you mean?

Sophie: I think I want to leave Nathan.

Steph: Wait, what?

Sophie: Yeah, I think I want to leave Nathan.

Steph: Oh my god, honey, why? What’s going on?

Sophie: Oh, well, it’s just… there’s been a few issues going on, and I’m not really sure what to do but I don’t think I want to stay married anymore. I think I want to get a divorce.

Steph: Wait, back the fuck up. You want to get divorced? Shit, honey, that’s serious. What’s wrong? Are you okay? Has he hurt you at all… I swear to god…

Sophie: No, no, it’s nothing like that. You know I’d never allow him to lay a hand on me…

Steph: Yeah, well good. If he did, I’d fucking kill him.

Sophie: Hehehe. Anyway, *sigh* I’m not sure how exactly to say this to you, but thing’s aren’t great with Nathan and I.

Steph: What? Wh-what do you mean?

Sophie: Um… there’s been a lot of problems in our marriage. A lot of problems… and I’m not sure what to do about them anymore.

Steph: What do you mean, problems? Is everything okay? Why do I not know about this? Why haven’t you said anything.

Sophie: I.. I just… I didn’t want other people to know about my personal life, because I don’t want people talking about me behind my back. I… *sigh* I just thought that I’d be able to handle everything by myself. I thought if I ignored it, then it would be fine; that it would go away and everything would go back to normal.

Steph: Um, are you kidding me? What the fuck, Soph? What’s happening? You know you can tell me anything… ANYTHING!! Why haven’t you told me anything before?

Sophie: I was too scared. I didn’t want you to judge me.

Steph: Of course I’m going to judge you, I’m your sister, that’s what I do.

Sophie: Steph…

Steph: I’m kidding. You know I’m always here for you. I’d do anything for you, I love you.

Sophie: I just don’t know what to do… I know I need to do something, but I’m not sure what. I know that our relationship has changed, well, for me it has, and I know that it’s not getting better. I know that something needs to be done, and I think that I need to divorce him. But I’m just too scared to say anything to him in case he blows up again like he did last time. I don’t want to get the kids involved, but if we get divorced, then they’re going to be involved regardless, and I don’t want to put that on them – it’s just too much too handle, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do… I’m scared Steph…

Steph: Hang on, hang on… do you want me to come over?

Sophie: NO! No, please don’t. You know how he feels about me having people over… I don’t want to upset him.

Steph: This isn’t you. You’re acting like a scared little puppy. Do you want to meet me for coffee instead, and we can go to Luciana’s for coffee and talk?

Sophie: No, I have to be here when he gets home, or he’ll get mad again. I don’t want to make him mad.

Steph: What the fuck has gotten into you. Are you sure he’s not hurting you. Is he hurting you?

Sophie: No. Don’t be silly.

Steph: You’re acting like one of those crazy bitches from the news… those ones with abusive partners, but they love them… what’s that called again… ‘Fucking Crazy Stupid Bitch Syndrome’??

Sophie: I think you mean Stockholm Syndrome?

Steph: Whatever. Either way, that’s what you’re sounding like. You’re starting to scare me – tell me what’s going on!!

Sophie: He’s not hurting me…

Steph: SOPHIE! FUCKING TELL ME!!

Sophie: I found out Nathan had an affair.

Steph: what?

Sophie: Well, I think he had an affair.

Steph: HE FUCKING WHAT??

Sophie: I’m not entirely…

Steph: *interrupts* I’LL FUCKING KILL HIM MYSELF!!

Sophie: Steph… It’s not..

Steph: SERIOUSLY… I WILL COME OVER THERE AND FUCKING KILL HIM…

Sophie: Steph… Stop! I don’t know for sure if he’s had or is having an affair, but I’ve found stuff to suggest that maybe he is…

Steph: Well, did you ask him about it?

Sophie: No. Oh god no, of course not.

Steph: Well why the fuck not? You have a right to know!

Sophie: I only found out because I was snooping through his phone.

Steph: Well, did you have any reason to suspect anything to warrant searching his phone…

Sophie: I know it was wrong…

Steph: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Listen to what you’re saying. You think it was wrong to go snooping through his phone, because you had reason to suspect something was wrong. How about HE SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN HAVING A FUCKING AFFAIR IN THE FIRST PLACE TO WARRANT YOU SNOOPING AROUND!!! What a cunt!! What a dirty, low-life, scum-sucking son-of-a-cunt!!

Sophie: STEPH!! STOP IT!!

Steph: Seriously? are you kidding me?

Sophie: So anyway, I was looking through his phone one night, simply because I wanted to have a look at some of the photos we took on J-J’s birthday… but as I was flicking through them, I found a secret folder marked ‘Private’.

Steph: Well, naturally you’re going to want to see what’s in there…

Sophie: But it’s got a password on it.

Steph: OF COURSE IT DOES. Which means he doesn’t want anybody else to see what’s in it…

Sophie: Exactly. So I tried a few different password combinations, and finally unlocked it, and there they were…

Steph: What?

Sophie: An entire folder full of photos of all these different women.

Steph: What, like porn?

Sophie: Well, not unless one of those ladies happens to also be the mother of one of the kids J-J goes to school with…

Steph: WHAT?

Sophie: Yeah. There were photos of her in different types on underwear, lingerie, and a whole heap of naked ones… and even really naked ones…

Steph: What do you mean really naked?

Sophie: I’m talking like I can literally see what the bitch ate for breakfast…. or she just got fisted before taking the photo…

Steph: OH MY GOD, FUCKING GROSS!!

Sophie: Yeah… but there were a few other women in there as well. Not porn shots or anything, but actual real everyday women… So then I went through his messages. He’s been messaging a few different women as well…

Steph: What a cunt!!

Sophie: Stop using that word! I hate that word!

Steph: I know you do, but it’s the only word to describe him right now…

Sophie: Anyway, so I found a couple of different messages… going on about how he had a great time and we should meet up again… or wanting to know if they were available for a lunch-time meeting… or one of my favourites ‘next time, you can go down on me in the backrow instead’… or my personal favourite, and I quote ‘I’ll just tell her that I’m working late, and then I’m going to drive over to your place, rip your clothes off and destroy that wet pussy of yours so you can’t stand proplerly’.

Steph: *silence*

Sophie: Steph? Steph, are you there?

*silence*

Sophie: Steeeph?? Are you still there?? Damnit, I lost her…

Steph: No, No, I’m still here… I’m just… I don’t know what to say… I’m lost for words.

Sophie: Yeah… I know what you mean.

Steph: No, I just don’t know what to say, because the rage that is rapidly building inside of me is so overwhelming THAT I CAN’T STRING A FUCKING SENTENCE TOGETHER, BECAUSE ALL I WANT TO DO RIGHT NOW, IS FIND THAT FUCKING SON OF A BITCH AND LITERALLY TEAR HIM THE FUCK APART. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS?? SERIOUSLY?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM. I WILL FUCKING KILL HIM… SOPHIE… YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. HE’S A DEAD MAN.. A FUCKING DEAD MAN!!

Sophie: I know, I know, and this is why I didn’t tell you anything. I knew you’d get upset.

Steph: UPSET? UPSET?! REALLY? FUCKING REALLY? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? HOW CAN YOU BE SO FUCKING CALM WHEN YOUR CUNT OF A CHEATING HUSBAND IS A FUCKING ARSEHOLE!! I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’RE NOT SO FUCKING ANGRY. I’M… I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT…

Sophie: I think it’s called rage, and yes, I’ve been there. In fact, most of the time when I see him, I just feel pure rage, but I don’t dare confront him about it. I don’t want to upset him.

Steph: See, that’s your problem right there… ‘Crazy Bitch Syndrome’. NOBODY should ever feel like that in their relationship. Why are you so afraid to call him out on it? What’s got you so scared? You said that he’s never hit you… so then why is it that you can’t confront him and fight about it like normal people??

Sophie: I just… I can’t. Last time I confronted him about something, he got so mad. I was so scared. Not for me, but for the kids.

Steph: If he hasn’t hit you, or threatened to hit you, then there’s nothing to be afraid of. Did he threaten the kids?

Sophie: No.

Steph: Well, then did he threaten to divorce you?

Sophie: No.

Steph: Kick you out?

Sophie: No, nothing like that.

Steph: Then what? What are you so afraid of?

Sophie: *exhales* So, remember a couple of years ago, when we went to Simone and Peter’s dress-up dinner party?

Steph: Yeah.

Sophie: Well, do you remember the costumes that we had?

Steph: Yeah, um… Bonnie and Clyde or something, right?

Sophie: Yeah, well, I kept telling him about the party that was coming up, and asking him if he had any suggestions for a costume, and he said no. I asked him, and I asked him, and I asked him so many times, and then all of a sudden it was the day before, and we hadn’t organised anything, so I went to costume hire place and just got the outfits.

Steph: Yeah…

Sophie: Well, when he got home, he was already so mad, and I didn’t want to show him the costume… but it was too late, and we just had to get ready and head over straight away so we weren’t late.

Steph: Yeah…?

Sophie: He was so angry. WE were in the car and he didn’t say a word to me. Even at the party, he was acting as though everything was fine, and a couple of times when I went to kiss him, he pulled away and told me to “get the fuck away from him”.

Steph: What a prick!

Sophie: It was like that the whole night. Even after we’d gotten home. I decided to have a drink, so i opened a bottle of wine and he came into the kitchen, and got right up to my ear and said “if you ever do shit like that again, I’m going to fucking kill you, and make it look like an accident. I will shoot you in your sleep, and shoot myself to make it look like an armed robbery. Do you understand?!” And then walked off upstairs.

Steph: what. The. Fuck?!

Sophie: Yeah. I know, right.

Steph: So what did you do?

Sophie: Well, I didn’t know what to do. My husband had just threatened to kill me, Steph. The first thing I thought of was, ‘oh my god, I need to get the fuck out of this house!’, but I couldn’t leave the kids, if he was going to threaten me like that, then who’s to say that he wouldn’t do the exact same thing to the kids, or worse… And I wanted to go to the cops, but what would that do? ‘Oh, yes, excuse me officer, my husband has just threatened to kill me, but if you ask him about it, he’ll just say that I was dreaming, or I was drunk because I had a glass or two of wine, and then as soon as you leave, he’ll probably beat me to within an inch of my life, or actually kill me.’ They’ll just think I’m a raving lunatic… And then of course, what happens to the boys??

Steph: Okay, clearly you’re so incredibly fucking terrified, because you obviously don’t understand the severity of this situation, If your husband has threatened to kill you, then you do something about it. You take the kids and you get the fuck out of there. He’ll, I’ll drop everything and come with you just to make sure that you’re not alone. But apart from that, the first thing you should do is go to fucking cops.

Sophie: Yeah, I know, I know, but I was just too scared. He was already so angry, and if I involved the police he’d be even more upset because I went behind his back and told somebody else about our business.

Steph: bitch, you have lost the fucking plot. What do you mean? He’d get upset because you told somebody…. You mean BECAUSE YOU TOLD SOMEBODY THAT YOUR BATSHIT FUCKING CRAZY HUSBAND THREATENED TO FUCKING KILL YOU!! No, sorry, that’s just totally fucked up. You, are totally fucked up.

*pause*

And you mean to tell me, that you’ve been having to deal with this for the last few years?

Sophie: …yeah.

Steph: And you’ve never told anybody about this.

Sophie: Nope. You’re the first person I’ve ever told.

Steph: I’m so glad that you finally told somebody. This is not on. We need to do something. We need to go to the cops. We need to get you and the boys out of there sooner rather than later. Have you got any cash out away?

Sophie: Um, we’ve got a bit saved up in one of our savings accounts…

Steph: Right. I’ve got a bit of cash saved up as well. I’m getting you out of there. We’ll pack up some stuff and disappear.

Sophie: Well, I can’t just disappear without saying anything. Can you imagine what would happen? Steph! No! I can’t!

Steph: Well you can’t stay there. Even if you want to take a chance that he’s just full of shit and just shooting his mouth off, it’s not safe for you there.

Sophie: I know what you’re saying, trust me, I hear what you’re saying, but this has been going on for so long already…

Steph: Oh, so then his bark is worse than his bite.

Sophie: Well, I have been making sure that I don’t do anything to instigate a situation. I know where the line is, and I know not to cross it. It’s been fine, so long as I don’t cross the line, but when he does, then it’s pretty bad.

Steph: I don’t want to hear this any more. I just want to get you out of there. Now. I need you to get out of there NOW!!

Sophie: *sigh*… No, you’re starting to overreact. I get that you’re worried, trust me, honey, I get that and I love you for being so protective, but I don’t need to just… runaway from everything. I can’t. I just can’t.

Steph: But what if you stay and something happens. I mean, it’s not like he’s actually going to shoot you, but it’s bad enough that he’d make threats like that… as though he’s put perhaps a bit too much thought into that whole situation.

Sophie. Well, I did go and make sure that there were no bullets in the gun. I threw them away in the rubbish.

Steph: Huh?

Sophie. The gun. Nathan’s gun. I know where he hides it, and I’ve thrown out all the bullets.

Steph: Hang on.. HE’S GOT A GUN?!?

Sophie: Well, yeah, why do you think he says he’s going to shoot me. He’s told me a number of times that there’s a bullet with my name written on it…

Steph. I can’t listen to this any more. This is just spiraling out of control more and more every time you open your god damn mouth. Now, either you get your shit together and you go to the cops and turn that bastard in…  or I’ll fucking do it for you.

Sophie: …Steph…

Steph: No. I’m fucking serious. You might be the crazy bitch in your bullshit marriage, but that shit is a mess and you need to involve the police. Bottom line: call the cops.

Sophie: …Steph, don’t be like that.

Steph: No. I’m not prepared to take a chance… either you call the cops, or I will.

Sophie hears movement in the next room

Sophie: Shit. Honey, I gotta go. I’m not going to call the cops and neither are you. Just drop it. Love you. I’ll call you later. I gotta go. Bye. bye.

Steph: Soph! Wait… I…

Sophie hangs up the phone and takes a moment to lean against the sink. She let out a great big sigh as she looked out the window and into the distance. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She felt as though this moment was the beginning of the end, or at least the next chapter of her life. She stood up and turned around and let out a shriek.

Sophie: JESUS! Nathan you scared the shit out of me

Nathan: Sorry dear. Are you okay?

Sophie: I didn’t hear you come in. You startled me.

Nathan: So who were you talking to?

Sophie: Oh nobody. Just Steph.

Nathan: Uh-huh. And what were you talking about?

Sophie: Oh nothing, just a bit of a catch up.

Nathan. Oh, okay. So you two weren’t plotting and scheming?

Nathan started to walk around the end of the island bench towards Sophie. Sophie, meanwhile started to back-away with extreme cautfion.

Sophie: I… I don’t know what you’re talking about…

Nathan: Oh, okay. So you weren’t talking about running away and calling the cops?

Sophie: No, of course not. Don’t be stupid.

Nathan suddenly lunged at Sophie. She jumped back, but he grabbed her dress, ripping the material as she frantically tried pulling away from him. His hand slipped, and she tripped over his forearm, stumbling briefly before falling down. She kicked her legs as a means to try and escape, but it didn’t work. He grabbed her ankles, and pulled her across the floor as she tried to claw away from him. She kicked and she screamed, as he pulled her closer, until he had climbed on top her. She tried shaking as violently as she good, but to no avail. With one of his hands, he grabbed her tightly around the throat and slowly began to squeeze. The colour in her face started to change colour, and she began struggling to breathe. He knew that all he needed to do was just squeeze a little harder and she’d be out cold. Permanently. Then he realised that he’d be charged with first-degree murder, and he couldn’t go through that.

*SMACK!*

There was the sound of an almighty smack. Sophie screamed and turned her head away.

Nathan: SEE WHAT YOU MAKE ME DO? WHY DO YOU DO THIS?

Sophie was left laying on the floor shaking, crying, and nursing the bright red hand-print on the side of her face.

Nathan: I TOLD YOU, YOU STUPID BITCH! I FUCKING TOLD YOU NOT TO CROSS ME. EVER!!

Sophie: *through her tears* I’m so sorry darling. I didn’t do anything. It was all Stephanie. She was doing all the talking. I kept telling her she was being ridiculous. I’d never do anything to upset you like that. I love you, baby. I love you so much. I’m sorry that I upset you.

Nathan stood up, and stood over Sophie, before unleashing a powerful and brutal kick to her abdomen, completely winding her and making her double over in excruciating pain. She coughed and wheezed as she tried to gulp down some oxygen, choking from her damaged oesophagus.

Sophie rolled over to see Nathan walking away and up the stairs. She let out a deep, painful moan as she held her abdomen. She took a moment to compose herself, before she began to crawl onto her hands and knees and use the back of a kitchen stool to help her stand up. She managed to make it to her feet, and slumped over the stool in sheer agony, and crying uncontrollably.

From the other end of the kitchen she heard a voice.

JJ: Mummy, are you okay? Why did daddy hurt you again?

Sophie felt as though her entire world has just crumbled around her. The last thing she ever wanted was for either of her children to witness something so horrific. Needless to say she didn’t know how to react if they saw it a second time.

open letter 8 Jan 2014

So, the following is an email that I wrote to a friend of mine who was in tears yesterday over some issues going on within their family. Although they aren’t being identified, they encouraged me to post it on my blog.

 

Okay,

So I firstly wanted to apologise in case I seemed somewhat uninterested or dismissive of your emotional state before class tonight (well, last night) – that wasn’t the case at all.

Secondly, I wanted to check in and see if you’re okay?

I know how hard it is to be in a situation like yours. I know how hard it is to see one person you love be so cold and hateful towards somebody else that you love.

I can empathise with your situation, and all I can say is that one day, it will get better. It always does. It might not happen tomorrow, as much as you might want it to; it might not even happen next week, or even this year… but at some point it will.

Being somebody who doesn’t believe in religion, I’m not in a position to understand what the views of homosexuality are in your faith, nor do I claim to understand said views. Regardless of whatever religion, I always find it incredibly hard to understand anybody who has an issue with homosexuality.

I think that it would be incredibly hard for you to be in the position you’re in, because yes, you love your brother and yes, you also love your father, but he doesn’t love his own son.

I’m not even sure if that’s the right term. Love. He might ‘accept’ your brother and his ‘lifestyle’ for whatever reasons, but does that mean to say that he doesn’t love him. He is his own flesh and blood. Is he really that against it, that he would go as far as to say that he doesn’t love his own child?

If that’s the case, that’s just simply cold and arrogant. And something I find hard to believe.

I’ll let you in on something that I don’t discuss – I’m not even sure I’ve discussed it with Hulk, so it’s not something for you to repeat to others…

I don’t have a relationship with my father. Ever since I was a kid, we always clashed. ALWAYS. I never really knew or understood what it was, but we generally left each other alone – he did his thing, and I did mine (usually with mum).

Now, mum and I have spent countless hours rehashing out all my unresolved ‘daddy issues’, and one of the things we concluded was that he was simply scared of me. He was scared of me because I was completely different to all the other boys my age. I didn’t want to play with trucks, or go to the football, or go fishing with him. Instead I wanted to go to dance classes, and play with cabbage patch kids and barbies and twirl around the house in mum’s netball skirt.

even back then when I was 5 I was fucking ‘gone with the wind fabulous’ (and if you don’t understand that reference, jump on youtube and search Kenya Moore Gone With The Wind Fabulous… she’s from Real Housewives of Atlanta… it’ll make more sense then!)

So, where was I… right… so because dad was such a man’s-man, he expected me to be his little mini me… just the way he was with his father, and so was his brother, and so was every other male he grew up with. And so was every other father-and-son he met over the years. That’s what he was expecting. That’s what was ‘supposed’ to happen.

And I broke the mould.

And because I was so the complete polar-opposite of what he was expecting, he literally flipped out and didn’t know what to do. Nothing had prepared him for that realisation. He didn’t know how to behave around me, or talk to me. He thought it was just a phase… and when he realised it wasn’t, he started to get desperate.

He would force me to play with my brother who was obsessed with trucks and cars (daddy’s little mini me!!); he would force me to watch football games on tv; he would force me to hang out with him up in the shed; he would drag me, literally, kicking and screaming with him when he went fishing… all in some kind of desperate attempt to ‘fix’ me, and knock some sense into me.

Boys didn’t behave the way I did. Boys didn’t like the things that I liked. I was different. I wasn’t like any of the other boys. He couldn’t handle that.

The other aspect of that was that because I was so different, most of my time (and support and encouragement) came from mum. Therefore we would spend significantly more time with each other, and he got incredibly jealous of that and it drove him crazy.

Mum was a lot more understanding and accepting of me being so different as a child. Rather than almost have a heart attack and fly into a rage when she saw me jumping on the bed in my cousin’s fairy princess dress, she simply told me to stop jumping on the bed and twirl around on the floor instead. Then she made me a crown out of tinfoil to really complete the outfit.

When I wanted to get a Strawberry Shortcake doll, she didn’t fly off the handle and scream at me telling me there was something wrong and that I would be getting a Tonka Truck; not at all, she asked me which Strawberry Shortcake doll I would prefer.

When I was obsessed with Barbie and the Rockers, she would make sure that the babysitter brought them over with her so we could play with them until it was time for me to go to bed.

That’s what I know, and because of that, it’s shaped who I am, and the outlook and attitude I have on life, and parenting and acceptance.

When I was 20, my father and I had a massive falling out. A fight so massive, it happened over the phone and went for hours and hours and hours one night, until I cried myself to sleep and didn’t wake up for 2 days. That was the last time I spoke to him.

That was 10 years ago.

He knows he broke my heart. He knows I want nothing to do with him ever again – I even renounced his surname (and his family in the process) as a result of our blowup. For a couple of years afterwards, he would send cards / letters to mum’s house, and she’d forward them to me (because he didn’t know my address in Melbourne) and they were always full of some bullshit about how sorry he is for hurting me, and how much he loves me and wishes that one day I would be able to get past this, and we could at least start talking to each other again… and just that would make him happy beyond belief. As much as I despise him and will never forgive him, I know that he still loves me. He always will, I’m his child – his first born – which is always so strong and significant.

Now, he knows that I’m a scorpio, but I don’t think he ever understood or bought into the traits of any of the star signs… one of them being that as a scorpio, I can hold a grudge… and here we are 10 years later, and I’ve not forgiven him. I never will. I don’t think any child could forgive a parent for what he said to me.

How does any of this relate to your situation?

Well just like my father, your father seems to have some very rock-solid views from the 50’s. THat’s what he was taught. That’s no doubt what his parents views were, and it’s also the views of his religion. And who is he to question his religion??

But this isn’t about faith, as much as it is about his own son. His flesh and blood. There’s something quite telling about a man who can’t even love their child, regardless of any other circumstances.

I think it’s very typical for parents to be very unaccepting of their child’s lifestyle if it’s anything other than the norm – but regardless of all of that, they still love, and always will love their child.

In terms of the dramas between your brother and your father, it’s not going to be easy. Your father is a man, and men are stubborn and they don’t like to talk about or even acknowledge their emotions. Perhaps that’s something that needs to change. You mentioned that your mother knows… maybe that’s something that she needs to discuss with him one-on-one. She might be able to talk some sense into him.

It makes it harder knowing that your brother has a disability, and I can see how that could be used as the excuse to explain your brothers lifestyle, but at the end of the day, they both need to realise that it’s not a choice; it’s not something that be prayed away; it’s not something that can be ‘fixed’. Your brother isn’t broken, he just likes guys. He doesn’t need fixing, he needs understanding. He’s already got it hard enough having a disability… adding the dramas of being gay on top of that.. lordy, I’m feeling sorry for him!

Your dad needs educating. He needs to hear a voice of reason. He needs to know that it’s not a disease – your brother was simply born this way. It wasn’t a choice. It’s genetically predetermined when he was a foetus.

It sucks that you’re caught in the middle of it all, and it’s not going to be easy for anybody involved in a situation like this, moreso if it starts to become volatile at all, but all you and your family need to know is that there is help available out there – you just need to be willing to ask for it.

He also needs to understand that his views are dated, and that whether he likes us or not, we’re here to stay. We’re not going anywhere. Ever.

And of course, if worse comes to worse, you can always talk to me about it.

Meanwhile, I think I’ve rambled on for long enough… it’s getting closer and closer to 2am and my eyelids are getting incredibly heavy, so I think it’s time for this little black duck to get some shut-eye.

So remember, I’m here if you need. Otherwise, I’ll see you in class.

xx