I love watermelon in Summer. It’s so juicy and refreshing. I’d love to just grab half a watermelon, and a melon baller, and scoop tiny balls of pink juicy goodness out whilst sitting on the couch watching some stories. It’s the best!
Alternatively, I love things like smoothies… full of fruit and ice and sorbet… yum yum yum yum yum.
And salads. Salads with coriander and chili and prawns. Summer is the perfect time for prawns. Prawns, scallops, squid… lots of it. In my tummy.
One of my other favourite foods in summer is sorbet. Blood orange sorbet. Ooh yes please!! So incredibly refreshing.
What’s the one item in your kitchen you can’t possibly cook without? A spice, your grandma’s measuring cup, instant ramen — what’s your magic ingredient, and why?
No, not Paula Deen. Butter.
Slippery, greasy, golden goodness. As somebody who bakes, everything that I make has butter in it. And it’s usually in every component. The batter, the filling, the frosting. Butter, butter, butter.
And as somebody who should really be paying more attention to their expanding waistline, I don’t really know how to address this problem… I love baking, and I love butter, but I don’t like gaining weight… why can’t I be able to, quite literally, be able to have my cake and eat it too… and not put on weight?
I think this is the exact reason why I prefer to wear trackies (sweat pants) and comfortable clothing (read: fat clothing) instead of showing all my lumpy-bumpy bits. Ugh, it’s hideous. The problem is, that it just makes a dish. Even when cooking dinner, it’s the sort of thing that is a fundamental ingredient of French cuisine. Have you ever had seafood that was just cooked in butter and some herbs. OMFG it’s unbelievable. Sometimes Hulk will create something special and do king prawns and scallops in some kind of butter sauce, and rather than the half-a-dozen pieces of seafood we get each, I really just want to have an entire bowl full of it. Or a lobster tail with a burnt butter sauce… yum-yum-in-my-tum-tum!! Fuck having anything else. Salad? Now you’re just talking crazy talk!
And let it also be known that when it comes to having freshly baked bread / scones / cheesey muffins etc, the only (and I mean ONLY) condiment you need is butter. And lashings of it. Moreso if it’s just come out of the oven and it’s still hot. You don’t need to ruin it by putting margarine or soy-spread on it. Good quality oil… I’ll let that one sneak past, but other than that, it’s butter all the way.
Speaking of butter, do they still make ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!’? I will admit, I did try that when it was available here in Australia, and from what I can remember, it was actually quite impressive. But now that I think back, I wonder about all the nasties that would have gone into something like that…??
So whilst I sit here and wait for my arteries to slowly harden, I couldn’t help but share something. When I first read the prompt, my instant reaction was butter. And the first thought once I thought of butter was…
Now, for those of you who aren’t on the same page, this is an Oprah reference. One that was brought to my attention by my favourite bitch, Kathy Griffin. In order to give yourself an Oprahcation (Oprah-education), enjoy the YouTube clip below…
A classic question, revisited: what are the five items you must have on a deserted island?
Well, let me just go ahead and make the assumption that this deserted island is basically, an isolated paradise, where I don’t have to deal with people, it’s always warm and sunny, and there’s nothing deadly in the water, oh, and I can still get a 4G signal, then SIGN ME UP!!
1. an iDevice with all my music on it. Probably my iPad Air.
Given that I’m not entirely that fond of people, because I’m so jaded, and I’m jaded because so many people around me are pretty bloody hopeless at life and common sense, I’d gladly spend my time isolated on an island. At least this way I can continue to blog about my time on the island and still have some kind of communication with the rest of the world.
2. A solar charger – to power my iDevice.
Until they make devices that with batteries that don’t lose power, or include solar chargers in them, it’s the only way I’ll keep my devices powered.
3. A water filtration system that would turn sea water into drinking water.
‘Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink’. How perfect would it be to have a bottle that doesn’t require replacing cartridges or filters, it just worked. Being surrounded by all that sea water, but not actually having any water to drink is just cruel.
4. A knife.
<<Internet @ Work won’t allow me to view any pages with knives on them>>
Well, a knife would be one of the most necessary items to have with you. How else are you going to cut open coconuts and gut the fish that you catch? Oh, and defend yourself from all the crabs and turtles that are going to come and try and eat your toes when you fall asleep. They’re watching you. They’re always watching. Waiting.
5.Something to create fire.
Every island needs fire. To keep warm, and to cook food. Although I’m not sure how a diet of seafood and tropical fruit will suit me, but at least I’ll actually have food, so I can’t complain. Well, I’m at least being optimistic, and assuming that the oceans surrounding my deserted island will be teeming with fresh fish, prawns and scallops. And when I’m not cooking, fire will help to host my own Island Fire Parties, blasting the music from my iPad.
adorablyobnoxious 