1 Sept – Talk It Out

Do you find it more helpful to talk things out or to let things quietly rest?

 
This is one of those things in life where I find myself quite conflicted. Generally speaking, I have nothing in place to stop me from flying into a white-hot rage, but at the same time I’m so terrified of confrontation.

Apr 17: The Wrong One

Have you ever gotten involved with someone you shouldn’t have had a relationship with?

How funny, I was only talking about this to a co-worker the other week. I was telling her a story about a guy that I was casually seeing. We’ll refer to him as J.

I met J when I was in my early twenties. I was living in Malvern and life was great. J was an older guy (well, mid-late thirties, but I was about 23, so he was considerably older). J was just somebody that I really enjoyed hanging out with. Well, initially anyway.

My relationship with J was interesting. I wouldn’t even call it a relationship, it was more of a friendship. He lived in Fitzroy in this incredible 4-storey converted warehouse apartment which was just utterly breathtaking. I still remember the first time I went to his place, and when he gave me the tour, my mouth just dragged along the ground the whole time as we went from floor to floor. J was one of those people who always managed to find the good in people, and remind them of all the wonderful qualities they possess; identifying everything about them that makes them special and unique.

I remember one time he and I had agreed to just go for a drive, and we ended up somewhere in Port Philip Bay, and walked all the way out along a pier to a breakwater and sat there for quite some time just having this incredible D & M (Deep & meaningful). At this point in my life, I had distanced myself from G, and this night; this conversation, I opened up so much to this person who was still somewhat of a stranger, and he actually questioned my decisions; asked how I was feeling; and all I remember was bawling my eyes out for most of the conversation. As somebody who doesn’t necessarily reveal their emotional state, I had a lot of pent up emotions that literally came flooding out. It was as though such a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders and off my soul. It was quite cleansing. I actually think it was one of the very very few times in my life where I’ve actually opened up so much and allowed myself to become so incredibly vulnerable.

After that, I realised that the time I spent with J was going to be quite safe and somewhat healing. Whenever I went around to his place, we would just hang out, watch a movie; have dinner; or just sit there for hours and talk about anything and everything. It was like therapy, without actually having to pay for it. Sometimes I’d even just go over there after a really shitty day at work, and fall asleep on his couch for a few hours, just to have a decent sleep. I really enjoyed being in such a calm and relaxing environment.

Then, he started acting a bit odd.

It began when he admitted that he had feelings for me. I’d be naive to say that I didn’t already have an idea that he felt like this, but those feelings certainly weren’t reciprocated – I made it quite clear that I wanted nothing more than to just be friends with him. He, however, wanted more.

One day I was at his place, and I had just woken up from a nap on his couch, and he was in the kitchen cooking some pasta for dinner. I layed there just observing, and soaking up my surroundings and revelling in this feeling of happiness and comfortable environment. Then it dawned on me that most of the conversations we’d had were about not just my issues and feelings, but regular topics as well… however I realised that although he now knew so much about me, I knew very little about him. Whenever I had asked him about himself and his life etc, he quickly changed topics, or avoided them completely. Realising that this was incredibly one-sided, and that for a friendship to actually work properly, both parties need to be open to the idea of sharing details about themselves. He couldn’t avoid the conversation forever – it just doesn’t work like that.

We sat down for dinner at his massive solid timber dining table (seriously, it was like a massive tree trunk, just cut in half lengthways, right down the centre. It sat 14 comfortably, and had long matching bench seats. It was such an incredible piece of timber… and naturally, cost an absolute fortune!!) and just began talking about whatever was being reported on the news, and then there was a bit of silence, and I took a deep breath and confronted him about his avoidance of discussing anything about him.

Well, had I known that he was going to react the way he did, I wouldn’t have said anything. He froze, was staring at his bowl of pasta, and I saw the skin on his neck instantly turn bright red. His grip tightened around his fork, and in a very calm voice, without making eye-contact, calmly said “I’ve already told you before that I don’t like to talk about myself. I’ve already told you before that we don’t talk about me”.

I sat back and apologised, and tried to explain myself, pointing out that all we’ve ever done is talk about me, and that it’s becoming quite one-sided – he knows so much about me, and yet I barely know anything about him…

“HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES AM I GOING TO HAVE TO TELL YOU TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR JUVENILE FUCKING MIND, THAT WE. DON’T. TALK. ABOUT. ME!! WHY IS THAT SO FUCKING DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND? I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO KEEP FUCKING REMINDING YOU, BECAUSE YOU SEEM TO KEEP FUCKING ASKING ME ABOUT IT? WHAT IS IT WITH YOU? ARE YOU JUST COMPLETELY FUCKING STUPID OR SOMETHING? IS THE MESSAGE NOT GETTING THROUGH? DO YOU THINK I JUST SIT HERE AND SAY THIS FOR FUN? PERHAPS IF I WANTED TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT MYSELF, THEN I’D FUCKING DO SO, NOT JUST BECAUSE YOU START TO DEMAND THAT I DO SO. IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT.”

I don’t actually remember what else was screamed at me after that. During that initial outburst, he had picked up his bowl and thrown it across the room, sending pasta all over the floor, and smashing the ceramic bowl against one of the kitchen walls. In all honesty, I thought he was going to kill me. The rage in his beady little eyes was simply terrifying and I knew that I was on the second floor of this building, so racing out and jumping over the balcony wasn’t exactly an option.

I didn’t really know how to react. I think I was just far too terrified to even look at him, so I just sat there, staring into my bowl of pasta. His tirade continued for several minutes, but it felt like an eternity. I just wanted it to stop long enough for him to catch his breath so I could just grab my stuff and run downstairs. My heart was racing and my palms were sweaty. I really had no idea what to do. This was the moment I realised that something was so severely wrong with this guy, and I began to understand exactly why we never talked about him. It was like Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with this guy. I couldn’t believe that somebody who was so completely comforting and relaxing to be around, would completely flip out like this.

I didn’t want to stay any longer.

I waited until the screaming stopped, and I apologised for upsetting him, clearly not knowing that it was such a severely sensitive issue for him. I walked over to get my backpack and my jumper and headed towards the hallway. As I got close enough, he pushed the timber bench seat across the doorway, “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO LEAVE? DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THAT YOU’RE FUCKING LEAVING NOW? YOU’VE UPSET ME SO MUCH, YOU’RE NOT FUCKING GOING ANYWHERE, YOU CAUSED THIS AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO FIX THIS!!”

….um… what??

I told him again that I was sorry and that I had no intentions of upsetting him whatsoever, and that I thought it would just be better for both of us if I left. I offered to help him clean up, and he screamed at me some more, so I said that I should just leave so he can calm down and when he’s had some time to think about it, we can talk about it later.

…wrong decision.

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND? DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THAT I’M GOING TO LET SOME STUPID CHILDISH LITTLE CUNT LIKE YOU FUCKING TELL ME WHAT I’M GOING TO DO? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? NO, REALLY, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? BECAUSE ALL I SEE IS SOME FUCKING INSECURE FUCKING PRETENDER, WHO LIKES TO ACT ALL SMART AND INTELLIGENT AND ALL TOGETHER, BUT WHO REALLY IS SO INCREDIBLY FUCKING INSECURE WITH HIMSELF THAT HE MAKES HIMSELF OUT TO BE SOMEBODY HE ISN’T BECAUSE HE’S NOTHING BUT A FUCKING WANNABE. YOU’RE FUCKING NOTHING. YA HEAR ME? NOTHING. YOU ARE THE FUCKING SCUM OF THE EARTH AND I CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE THAT I EVEN LET YOU INTO MY LIFE, WHEN ALL YOU’VE DONE IS TRY TO FUCKING DESTROY IT, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT CUNTS LIKE YOU DO… DESTROY PEOPLE’S LIVES, SO FUCK YOU!!

I took a deep breath and asked him to move out of my way. He refused.

I asked him again, and he pushed me down onto the bench seat.

I asked him one more time to let me leave, otherwise I would call the police. He refused.

I exhaled, spun around on the bench seat and walked over to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!”

Well, J, I’m taking a moment to pull myself together, because I’ve asked you three times to let me leave, and you’ve refused. You have just pushed me down onto the bench which could be classified as physical assault, and after the last 25 minutes of you screaming at me, that’s just verbal abuse. You’ve left me with no option that to contact the police and inform them that you’re holding me here against my will. So if you don’t mind, I’ve got a phone call to make.

From the look he was giving me, and the colour red his face had gone, I literally thought his head was actually going to explode all over the doorway. He began to climb over the bench. I’m warning you, J. I’ve got the number ready to go.  I showed him the screen with 000 ready to be dialled. So, now we can do this the easy way, and you can let me leave, or we can do it the hard way and involve the police. And I don’t think that police charges involving haloing somebody hostage and physical assault will look too good with your peers, will it? 

“ARE YOU FUCKING THREATENING ME?”

No, I’m making you a promise. If I wanted to threaten you, I’d tell you that there’s a third option, it’s called ‘take another step towards me, and I will literally beat the living daylights out of you and put you in hospital’. So you tell me, how do you want this to play out?

Suddenly, there was a Mexican standoff. He was standing on the bench in the doorway, and I was standing in the kitchen… literally surrounded by a multitude of potential weapons. Without losing eye-contact with him, I felt around the bench top for the rolling pin, and picked it up with my free hand. He climbed down off the bench very slowly, and stood there. He was so full of rage, and I was backed into a corner. Even I knew that I was all talk, but I knew that if it came to the crunch, and I had to defend myself, I’d do a pretty damn good job of doing so, and I’d do a bit of damage in the process.

“DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT I’M SCARED OF YOU? YOU’RE NOTHING BUT AN INSECURE LITTLE CUNT! YOU WOULDN’T DARE TOUCH ME!”

I WARNED YOU, ONE MORE STEP, AND I HIT DIAL.

He thought I was bluffing. So I hit dial.

‘Emergency services. Police, Fire or Ambulance?’

“YOU FUCKING CUNT!!”

Yes, Police please…

I was connected to an operator and explained the situation. J kept inching his way further, as I tried to explain my situation. Screaming out the whole time that he was going to kill me. I put them on loudspeaker so I could throw things at his head in an attempt for him to keep his distance. They asked me if I needed police assistance with the situation. J screamed out no, and I said yes. They said they’d send a car to the location of the call and would be there within minutes.

I kept the line open and jumped up on the kitchen bench as he charged towards me.

“WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE YOU FUCKING CUNT? THOSE FUCKERS ARE GOING TO BE HERE AGAIN! YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD. I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU HEAR ME, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU, CUNT!!”

‘WELL DONE, THE POLICE JUST HEARD ALL OF THAT. I’M GOING TO ATTEMPT TO LEAVE NOW!!’ and leapt off the kitchen bench and made a dash for the hallway. As I leapt over the bench seat, I looked back to see how close he was and he had slipped on the pasta. I kept running down stairs, to the entrance and waited to hear him come after me.

Silence.

I opened the doors and walked outside into the freezing winter air. I could hear a tram in the distance, and the temptation to just jump on the tram and go home and never look back was so incredibly appealing. However, something in the back of my head felt concerned. The fact that he had slipped and didn’t get up to come after me was of concern to me. What if he was hurt? What if he was badly hurt? Oh my god, what if he was dead? I’d be charged with murder. Oh god, I’d go to jail. I can’t go to jail!

I waited for the police to turn up, and I introduced myself and explained the whole situation. I told them about my concerns that he hadn’t followed me, and I requested to go and check that he was okay. One of the officers remained in the car and called for an ambulance, and the other officer went into the apartment. A few minutes later, he radioed to the other officer that everything was okay. The ambulance had arrived by this stage, and  we all went into the apartment and upstairs to the kitchen.

As I walked down the hallway towards the kitchen, I could hear J crying, whilst trying to talk to the officer. I let the other officer and ambo walk in whilst I stood out of sight to listen to what he was saying. I peeked around the corner and saw him sitting up against the wall with his hands cuffed behind his back; squashed pasta and sauce all over his top and face, and blood coming from his face. Turns out he was okay, he’d cut his face on broken pieces of the ceramic bowl he smashed against the wall earlier.

I walked around the corner and let him see me. The person sitting on the floor was a completely different guy. This wasn’t the rage-fuelled monster threatening to kill me only minutes before. This was the J that I knew.

He felt so remorseful, and couldn’t stop apologising for whatever he had done. He hoped that he hadn’t hurt me, and was so sorry if he did. I stood there, and gave my statement to the police in a play-by-play making sure not to leave out any detail. I just glared at him the whole time, and watched him sob uncontrollably. When the ambo’s had finished cleaning up his cuts, they left and I was escorted out of the room so they could interview him. Turns out he had absolutely no recollection of what happened. He completely flipped out, and it’s not the first time it’s happened. According to him, it happens from time to time, he has these fits of rage where his memory goes completely blank and he has no recollection of anything that happens.

The police asked if I wanted to press charges, but to demonstrate that I’m not the monster, I refused and simply told him that he needs to get professional help. I could no longer be his friend, and wanted to have no further contact with him. The police even suggested taking out a restraining order, but I said that it wasn’t necessary. They escorted me out of the building, and got me to see the ambo’s to be treated for any injuries. I just said I was in shock, and then the police drove me home.

A few weeks later I received an email from J, who happened to write in detail all about himself. His issues, his personality disorders, his medication… anything and everything I had ever wanted to know was there in black and white. I couldn’t believe that he was actually detailing all this highly personal information and sending it to me. I was amazed at what I was reading, but acknowledged just how much it must have taken for him to get to this point. I figure this was his way of making amends or a way of apologising to me.

Soon afterwards, he began calling me again. And then calling me constantly. Wanting to meet up and talk. Wanting to hang out again. Asking if I’d like to come over to his place. I ignored all his calls, until I saw him parked outside my apartment one night when I arrived home from work.

I couldn’t believe it. After everything that had happened, he was still behaving like this. I wasn’t standing for it. I walked over to his car, and belted my hand on his window and started yelling at him. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU’RE STALKING ME NOW? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO TEST ME AGAIN, BECAUSE YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO CALL MY BLUFF. I WILL HAVE YOU ARRESTED… SO I SUGGEST YOU DRIVE AWAY RIGHT NOW, AND NEVER SHOW YOUR FACE AROUND HERE. I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU, AND I DON’T WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME. NOW, PLEASE LEAVE, OR I’M CALLING THE POLICE… SERIOUSLY… JUST. GO.

And on that, he didn’t even wind down the window. He nodded, started the engine, and drove off. That was the last time I ever had any contact with J. It’s a shame that it turned out the way that it did, but unfortunately that’s just how it played out. I actually haven’t even thought about him until now. I wonder if he ever managed to resolve any of his issues?? Oh well.

People come into our lives for all different reasons. I like to think that J came into my life to get me to experience the true feeling of vulnerability. Which might explain why I’m so heavily guarded now?

 

Daily Prompt: Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)

What is the best dream you’ve ever had? Recount it for us in all its ethereal glory. If no dream stands out in your memory, recount your worst nightmare. Leave no frightening detail out.

I often have quite bizarre dreams that I can never quite make sense of. I know that dreams are meant to a visual representation of our sub-consciousness, but my dreams simply make nonsense whatsoever, and they’re quite jumpy and disconnected. Most of the time in those immediate moments after waking up from one of these dreams, I lay in bed thinking to myself ‘what the fuck was that?! and then I scramble for my iPad to try and not down as much as I can in point-form so then I can go back later and expand on those points for a more detailed recollection.

I can’t say that I’ve got a particular dream that would consider the best I’ve ever had, but there is one dream in particular that I did used to have quite often. Unfortunately, this dream was actually a frequent nightmare. And this was a nightmare that I had quite regularly as a child, and even experienced it a number of times during my teens, and even through my adult life. I’m not entirely sure what it is about this dream that has stuck around in my sub-conscious for so many years, but it’s clearly got to be quite significant.

But the strange thing is, that none of it actually makes sense. And yet it manages to completely terrify me.

It starts off with the image of an old lady sitting on a park bench. In front of her is a footpath, and then a road which never seems to have any traffic. Behind her is a big hill, with incredibly luscious green grass. The rolling green hills behind her meet the clear blue sky and the sun is shining. As the dream progresses, the image starts to pan around from one side of the old lady, past the front of her, and to the other side, and then back. Each transition is quite slow, and it gradually begins to zoom in on her. Eventually a couple of birds begin to enter the scene and start hopping around on the footpath.

Meanwhile, in the background, there is a feint sound. It’s hard to hear, but it’s enough to completely break the silence of the old lady on the bench. It’s quite a mechanical sound… like it’s a series of factory machines or something – clanging and banging, hissing and popping. Then, as the sound begins to become more prominent, there’s a momentary FLASH on the screen of something made of metal. There’s a lot of heat, which I can feel, but the sound just begins to get louder.

I can’t make out what the machine is, but I know that it’s not good.

The vision then goes back to the lady on the bench. She hasn’t moved at all, but there’s now a few birds jumping around at her feet.

FLASH!

It’s the monster. This time, the image stays for a fraction longer, and starts to get louder. The image is all different shades of black, grey and red. There’s a distinct heat, and something quite unsettling about this machine.

Back to the old lady on the bench. She’s now noticed the birds, and has tilted her head, and smiled. She doesn’t actually seem to be moving very much. She’s remained quite static, almost as though she were a mannequin.

FLASH!

It’s the monster. This time the image has started to zoom out slightly, I can see something that resembles a jaw, and what looks to be teeth. It’s definitely not friendly, and the mechanical noise that it’s making is getting louder and louder.

Meanwhile, the old lady on the bench still hasn’t seemed to notice the increasing sound of this monster. I wonder if she can even hear it, or is she completely oblivious?

FLASH!

The image of the monster has zoomed out some more. I can now see a distinct head. It’s almost dinosaur-like, but fully mechanical. Sort of like some kind of Transformer dinosaur robot… who plans on nothing but destruction.

Meanwhile, the old lady on the bench has now started to pull some bread out of her purse and is throwing tiny pieces at the birds.

How is she not hearing this noise?

FLASH!

The Monster appears to be getting bigger and bigger. The heat is increasing more and more with every appearance. I can feel myself sweating, and as the image goes back to the old lady, I can see her sweating as well, so clearly the temperature is rising everywhere.

FLASH!

The Monster begins to stand, and lets out a roar and a giant ball of fire. I feel as though it’s hot enough to burn my skin.

Back at the Old Lady, she’s oblivious to anything else. She obviously can’t hear the noise of the monster.

Something in the pit of my stomach tells me that the monster is planning on eating the old lady… but she can’t see me, so I can’t warn her. I don’t exist to her.

FLASH!

The monster has started to look around and has spotted me. Suddenly the camera zooms right out, and I realise that this Monster is at least the size of a 40-storey building. The noise that it creates is unbearable. It lets out another blood-curdling scream, and a couple of balls of fire, and then it focuses it’s gaze on me. I see it’s eyes narrow, and there’s a rumble that is so loud it completely vibrates the ground like a major earthquake. I lose my footing and fall over as I’m backing away and hit my head on the ground. Hard. Although I am aware that I’m dreaming, and I am aware that none of this is real, I am also aware that I can now feel an excruciating pain in the back of my head, but I know that I’m asleep and I can’t do anything about it.

Just as I begin to scramble backwards on my hands, the image flips back to the old lady. She’s still feeding the birds, and is quite content. She has a smile on her face, as though she’s the happiest lady in the world.

FLASH!

The monster begins to take it’s first giant steps. It unleashes itself from where it has been anchored into the ground as part of the factory, and starts making some very slow and precise giant steps towards me.

By this stage, all I can see around me is intense shades of red, grey and black and I can feel that my clothes are either going to combust or melt from the heat, so I need to remove them. I need water, but there’s nothing around. Even the ground is getting hotter and hotter. I can see my sweat pouring off my forehead and arms, and evaporating instantly as it hits the ground. My skin is burning upon contact and the pain is constantly growing and becoming more and more unbearable.

Back to the Old Lady, who still can’t hear anything. I can see her still sitting there as the ground violently shakes. I can see her sweating through all her clothes. Trees and poles are falling down around her, but she remains with a smile on her face as though nothing is happening.

FLASH!

The fear of imminent death is all I can think of. I can’t die. If you die in your dream, you die in real life, right? The Monster appears to be getting slightly faster, I feel as though I’m running as fast as I possibly can, but I don’t really seem to be getting anywhere. I almost feel as though I’m barely moving, despite moving my legs so fast. I can see it getting closer. I can feel the intensity of the heat all around me.

Back to the Old Lady. The green hills are beginning to change colour. The grass is beginning to die from the heat and starting to turn a light dusty yellow colour. The sky is no longer blue. It’s begun to change from shades of blue to shades of dark orange. The air has become hot and thick.

FLASH!

The Monster is moving faster than I could have anticipated. I can feel it getting closer and closer. I’m not going to escape. This is it. This is how it ends for me… The air around me is so thick and so hot, just something as simple as breathing is becoming too painful for me. The hot air is so thick and so hot, it just burns all the way down my esophagus and into my lungs. I think I’ve only got a few slow deep breaths left before I cant bear it any longer.

The Old Lady has finished her bread and the birds have flown away, except for one, who has died from the heat. The Old Lady has started to turn very pale and is dripping with sweat. The grass has completely died and the sky that was one a cool, refreshing blue, is now a hot and dirty red colour. The ground is shaking violently, and the Old Lady still doesn’t seem to be noticing.

FLASH!

I run and I run and I run. I know that I’m on some cliff-side track that is purely rocks, which keeps shaking from the footsteps of The Monster. Suddenly, in the distance, I see something that looks slightly different. I can see the previously-spotted hill, and realise that that will be my salvation. The Monster only exists in a nasty alternate universe. It won’t be able to cross over, will it?

I see myself run over the hill and start to shake the Old Lady to try and get some reaction out of her motionless body. Nothing. The ground is still shaking, and the air is excruciating. I can’t handle this any longer.

Following behind closely, The Monster begins to make its way over the top of the hill. It gets to the top and looks around. There’s a sudden silence before it lets out this blood-curdling ear-piercing scream. It’s definitely angry about something.

I’m still trying to get the Old Lady off the bench and to safety, but it’s not working very well. The Monster begins it’s descent down the hill; charging directly towards me. As it gets closer, I feel my skin getting quite hot, and slowly beginning to melt. All I can feel is excruciating pain, and all I want is to be safe, but I can’t see that happening.

As I’m (attempting) to drag this old lady out of harms way, I drop her arms as her skin begins to melt in my hands. It’s too late. I need to just accept my fate.

The Monster gets so close, and lets out another roar and a couple of fireballs. One of them hits the old lady in the legs, setting her on fire, and melting directly through the muscle and the bone. She doesn’t even flinch. I think that she’s dead.

The Monster bows its head down and grabs the Old Lady by her melting, fiery legs and gobbles her up like it’s nothing. He stops, roars and bends down to eat me…

…and at that point I wake up.

Granted, sometimes I wake up completely drenched in sweat, or I wake screaming in sheer terror.

It’s one of those dreams that is a bit ridiculous, and I don’t understand, but still terrifies me whenever I have it.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/26/daily-prompt-sweet-dreams/

Daily Prompt: It’s Friday, I’m in Love

Remember your first crush? Think about that very first object of your affection. Oh, the sweaty palms. The swoony feeling in your stomach. Tell us the story of your first crush. What was it about this person that made your heart pound? Was the love requited? Change the names to protect the guilty or innocent if you must! No judgement here. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Oh, god which one do I write about? First girl crush, or first boy crush??

Daily Prompt: Safety First

Share the story of a time you felt unsafe.

Jeebus, where do I begin on this one.

Let’s just say, that when I was younger, I have found myself in several not-so-pleasant situations. One of them quite serious, to the point it involved the police and somewhat of an emotional breakdown, but that’s not one that I’m prepared to share right now.

Hmmm, actually, now that I’m thinking about some of the other hair-raising situations I’ve been in, I’m not entirely sure I’m comfortable talking about them either… Perhaps because they’re the kind of situations that generally you wouldn’t really want other people knowing. Kind of like a secret shame that will probably go with me to the grave – well, unless I write my memoirs on my death bed, and then everything will be out in the open. And boy wouldn’t that be full of juicy details!

Allow me to tell you the story of one of the times that I went back to Redneckville during school holidays…

SO, from memory I was home at mum’s place for the Christmas break. Seeing as how it’s summer here in Australia in December, and this was 10 years ago, and the country, it was one of those times where, during the day, the temperature would peak around 44-45 degrees celsius, so yeah, it was HOT!!

Now, I think this particular evening, my best friend at the time, B-Girl, and I had gone out to catch up with a group of her friends from high-school. I knew them, but half of them were all cunts to me in high school and bullied me for several years, so I would have rather watch them fall off a balcony to their death, or at least hideous disfigurement, than spend an entire fucking evening with them.

SO on this night, B-Girl and I head out to this wine bar we used to love going to (not that I actually drink, but it was just a cool hip little venue) and we’re upstairs on the balcony with these people. I’m doing my best to ignore half of them, (whilst visualising various ways I would like to see them die or seriously injure themselves) when all of a sudden a fight breaks out. A couple of the guys had called out to a bunch of guys on the street, being the smartarses they are, and then all of a sudden 3 or 4 of these guys were up on the balcony having a confrontation.

Some of the girls were trying to diffuse the situation, but the drunken arrogant wankers weren’t having a bar of it.

Voices started being raised; guys were getting in each other’s faces; girls were failing at calming anybody down and were leaving the balcony; and whilst all this was going on, I couldn’t WAIT for the punches to start being thrown, because I knew these guys would end up getting their arses kicked… and I was going to enjoy watching every minute of it.

…sure enough, within a matter of seconds, the first punch was thrown, and all hell breaks loose.

Now, if you’ve never actually been witness to a punch on, let alone a group punch on, then it’s an surreal event. The sound of knuckles hitting cheekbones and eye sockets. The whack sound that it makes as skin slaps skin. Watching bottles go flying, chairs go flying, saliva and hair everywhere – it’s like it happens all in slow-motion, just to ensure that you are able to visually take in everything that is happening in front of you. I’m actually surprised that there wasn’t a glassing incident.

Sure enough, security come bounding up the stairs and pull the guys off each other, and take the 4 guys from outside, back downstairs for questioning, whilst a couple of security guys remain up on the balcony to confront the geniuses who just had their arses handed to them.

Sidenote: the BEST bit of the whole thing was when Dumbfuck The Ringleader turns to me, and has the nerve to say to me “oh, and what about you, fucking fag, you didn’t even step in to fucking help us at all”. After taking a moment just to process the mind-numbing ridiculousness of that statement, and who it was coming from, I looked up at Dumbfuck and calmly responded, ‘I’m sorry, but did you just say what I think you’re saying? You, the one person who made my life a living fucking hell all through high school, YOU, HONESTLY THINK THAT I WOULD DO *ANYTHING* to help you. Let me make this abundantly clear to you, I’m actually quite disappointed that you aren’t being carted away in an ambulance right now, because lets be honest, nothing would make me happier. As for what just happened, you fucking brought that on yourself. You think that you’re going to get through life being able to hang shit on people and there not be any consequences? You caused that fight. You threw the first punch. You’re the reason Druggy Long-Hair has a possibly broken nose, and you have the nerve to stand there and feel pissed off AT ME, for not coming to your defense. WHAT A FUCKING JOKE. YOU ARE A FUCKING JOKE!! If anything, if I did actually choose to be foolish enough to get involved, I would have been on their side instead, and I would have fucking glassed you right in the face, and then maybe pushed you off the balcony onto the footpath and hopefully shattered your spine, but I made the choice to not get involved. (Police arrive upstairs) and look, now the cops are here, and I’ll gladly give my statement, and making it abundantly clear that those other guys were merely defending themselves. You started this. You deserve the consequences. I hope you fucking die.’

And then I left.

I walked back downstairs and gave my statement to an officer, along with a couple of others, and then B-Girl and I left.

…and we’re not even at the scary bit yet!!

SO, after all that drama, B-Girl and I went went a couple of doors down to the servo for a late night ice-cream, and then I decided to walk B-Girl home. By this stage it was about 2 or 3am. We were walking along this road which runs parallel to the horse-racing field, and as we approached a motel, we saw a couple of dogs walking towards us. As we continued along the footpath, the dogs walked under a streetlight, and we both realised that these were big dogs… and I mean BIG DOGS. I’m not entirely sure of the breed, but it was like the size of full-grown German Shepard, but a lot more fierce and aggressive.

B-Girl and I stopped. Then the dogs stopped.

They were watching us. We were watching them. B-Girl whispered, ‘holy fuck. What are we going to do?’

‘I dunno. Maybe we should cross the street?’, I replied and we slowly walked across the road. Although the dogs were at the other end of the block, we could see them quite clearly.

The dogs crossed the street as well.

‘Oh. Holy. Shit.’, I whispered, ‘Now what the fuck do we do?‘.

‘Maybe we just turn around and walk back towards the Main Street, and they will just go somewhere else?’, suggested B-Girl.

We turned around and started walking back the way we had come, and then we heard barking. Not like a normal dog bark, but the kid of bark you really don’t want to hear at 3am, when you’re on your own and you’re not the best runner. We stopped, and held each other’s hand. ‘What do we do? B, WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO? OH MY GOD, THEY’RE GOING TO ATTACK US! WE’RE GOING TO BE FUCKING KILLED!!’. Clearly, I’d already decided this, and had given up all hope.

‘Let’s walk through the motel and lose them’, suggested B-Girl. We turned and crossed the road, and walked back towards the motel and walked through the entrance. ‘Worst case scenario, they follow us. I say we lock ourselves behind the pool fence, because they won’t be able to get in!’. Just as I said that, we saw the pool fence. A small child could easily fit through the bars of the fence, so a giant man-eating dog could definitely fit in there. We instantly scrapped that idea.

Behind the rear of the motel, the carpark opened out onto this vast area of empty land. Part of it had been turned into a kids playground, and the rest was all vacant land which ran behind the entire blocks houses. We started walking through there, and figured, we couldn’t hear any barking, the dogs must have just kept on going down the street. Right??

Wrong.

So very, very wrong.

As we’re walking through the dead dry grasses on this land, we see one of the dogs come back out on the footpath. It stopped. Barked a couple of times, and then sat there, watching us.

At that moment, the most terrifying thought was WHERE WAS THE OTHER DOG?? I couldn’t see it, and I couldn’t hear it. My mind started racing a thousand-miles and hour. The dog approached the grassed, and I picked up some big rocks and threw them at the dog. I must have hit it because it let out a yelp and walked off. Feeling somewhat relieved, we continued across this area of land, and turned left into another street.

2 blocks from B-Girls house. THANK FUCK FOR THAT. Feeling that we were home-free, we started to have a little giggle about how scared we both were… then we heard the breathing behind us.

Half a block away from us, just near the corner was one of the dogs. It began barking and then growling. Shit was about to get VERY real, VERY rapidly, and we were both trying to work out a strategy for avoiding it. Then it started walking towards us. Oh fuck. As it approached the block of land, the other dog joined him. Oh double fuck!! THEN, they started running towards us.

By this stage we both know we couldn’t outrun them. The next house we passed, we ducked into their side walkway, and ran into their backyard. At the backyard, there was a small grassy patch, a woodshed and a garage. We jumped into the woodshed, and like clockwork, the two dogs came running into the backyard. They came running right up to the screens on the woodshed, gowling and barking like crazy.

Suddenly a couple of lights in the house turn on, and the outside light turns on.

The dogs stop barking, and start at the backdoor of the house. A man walks out and picks up a shovel. He starts swinging at the dogs, who start going wild. Oh great. Now we get to witness a guy being attacked and mauled to death buy a couple of crazy dogs. Perfect end to the night.

B-Girl and I look at each other in terror and we hear this almighty WHACK!! Immediately followed by some yelping.

‘You kids alright in there?’, asked the man. ‘THey’re both gone, so you can get outta my woodshed if you please. It’s quite late, afterall!’ WE explained what happened, thanked the man and continued back on our way to B-Girls’ house. Walking along the footpath, we hear a dog barking.

Then again…

and again.

By now, we’ve decided on a very quick walk back to her place, and I’ll either just stay over or catch a taxi back to mum’s – a couple of blocks away.

Just as we approach B-Girls street, we hear something behind us. It’s getting louder and closer, and all very quickly ‘Fuck this. I’m not taking any chances. B-Girl, we need to fucking move. Let’s just fucking run!’. And run we did. I kept looking behind me as the dog started getting closer and closer, and then before I knew it, we were running towards B-Girls front door – watching the front yard like a hawk through the windows of the lounge room.

Sure enough, both dogs have found each other and they walk straight past B-Girls place.

‘Do you wanna just stay here the night, or do you wanna catch a cab?’, B-Girl queried.

‘No, I’ll just give it 10 mins and then I’ll walk home. It’s quicker and much cheaper. I’ll be fine’. Needless to say, those 10 mins became almost 30mins before I actually seriously considered walking out that front door. ‘Coast is clear’, I ploclaimed. I gave B-Girl a hug and a kiss and closed the front door behind me, and set off back to Mum’s place.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/11/21/daily-prompt-safety-first/