What was your favourite grade in school and why?
Generally speaking, I hated school. Kids can be nasty little cunts when they want to be.
19 Aug – Favourite School Grade
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Tag Archives: turmoil
Daily Prompt: Singing the Blues
We all feel down from time to time. How do you combat the blues? What’s one tip you can share with others that always helps to lift your spirits?
This is kinda tough – I find myself regularly feeling the blues, but I don’t actually talk about it. I know that most people will acknowledge it – call their girlfriends to talk about all their problems; or confront their issues immediately to rectify the situation etc etc. But I tend to do what most people do – eat their feelings.
Now, in saying that, I regularly make a point of telling people that I’m cold and dead on the inside – that I have no feelings… ‘Cold as ice’. But it’s not actually true. I do have feelings – I just don’t necessarily like to show them very often. I’m far too guarded.
Admittedly, I tend to be quite highly-sensitive to things that people do or say. As somebody who was bullied practically every day since I was a kid, and somebody who has been through more than their fair share of emotional shit… yes, I consider myself as being quite damaged from it all, and as a result, I generally tend to internalise everything and keep things to myself. But it has also led me to take more of a stand for those who are just like I was.
When I was younger, I suffered from depression, and that in-turn led to me suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I really struggled to get myself out of that funk and find my happy… Things that I enjoyed just seemed to be too much to handle. Even things like seeing my friends was just incredibly uncomfortable, because I always felt like I just shouldn’t be around them – and I felt as though they didn’t really know what to say or how to act around me… which made me not want to socialise with them very much.
As I got older, I began to just focus what little energy I had onto the one thing that truly made me happy – dancing. I’d run myself into the ground, to the point where I’d have to crawl home. I’d be so completely exhausted, but I’d still find comfort in happiness in being able to still dance. It’s always been my one true love in life.
Now that I’m older, I find comfort in happiness in all kinds of different scenarios. Being able to actually have some social time with friends can actually make a huge difference for me, and create a positive shift in my mood. I find that it’s generally the small gestures from others that make the biggest impact for me – I guess because it’s so unexpected, and sometimes quite thoughtful.
I remember last year when I had a surgical procedure, i was off work for 2 weeks whilst I was at home, bed-ridden and bored recovering. A friend of mine sent me a small care-package in the mail, and because I hadn’t actually spoken to her recently, it made it so much more of a surprise. I felt completely elated when I received the parcel in the mail, as I had no idea what was inside.
That was a pivotal point in my life – and ever since, whenever a friend of mine has something getting them down, I’ll do something for them as a nice gesture. For example, the same friend who sent me the care package was, one day, feeling somewhat overwhelmed and upset due to some issues with her husband. She was feeling quite sad and confused, and so out of the blue, I decided to send her some flowers. Just a simple bouquet with a small box of chocolates, and the impact that it made on her life was truly remarkable. Upon receiving the flowers, she called me to thank me, and we ended up speaking for almost two hours – allowing her to talk about everything that was upsetting her and getting her down… and immediately, she felt relieved, and didn’t feel (or sound) as upset as she previously was.
So for those of you reading this, and happen to come across somebody you know who may be feeling a bit down in the dumps – try doing something to surprise them – do something spontaneous either with them or for them. Send them some flowers. Turn up at their house and whisk them away for an adventure somewhere. Get them out of the house, and distract them. Talk to them about what’s troubling them – show them that you care… just do SOMETHING. Even if it goes completely south and turns out to be a terrible idea, you can both at least take comfort in knowing that you tried to do something nice for them.
It’s better to try and fail, than to never try at all.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/28/prompt-singing-the-blues/
26 Dec – Happiness Is Harmony
Gandhi said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” Agree or disagree? Is there more to happiness than that?
I would tend to agree with this. If you think about it, if one of those elements is not in alignment with the others, there isn’t a genuine stream of happiness. Well, providing that having those three elements in alignment is something that gives you happiness… for some it may not.
Daily Prompt: Forgive and Forget?
Share a story where it was very difficult for you to forgive the perpetrator for wronging you, but you did it — you forgave them.
Perhaps I should just say that I’m a Scorpio. I don’t forgive people. Even when I say I forgive people, I’m not really sure that I forgive them… I think I just get over it and move past it, but I will never forget whatever it was they did to wrong me.
Scorpio’s certainly know how to hold a grudge. We also know how to take things to extremes. In saying that, people generally don’t do anything that requires me forgiving them… they just know not to get on my bad side because I’ll lose my shit.
I think one example of me forgiving somebody was an ex-friend of mine who ‘outed’ me to a group of people. I remember telling her something that I thought was in confidence. Unless you’ve dealt with the stress, the inner torment, the anxiety of ‘coming out’ to people, you probably won’t understand – however, to those of you who have, you know what I’m talking about.
It was hard enough coming out to my own mother, and even that in itself took twelve months to happen. It’s something that you need to do in your own time when you’re ready to; when you’re comfortable enough.
This bitch robbed me of that. I told her this in confidence. Granted, it wasn’t news, but for me to confirm it, was like having a small weight lifted off my shoulders… and I had a lot of small weights that needed lifting. So even after the long discussion we had about me not being ready to tell other people, especially other friends (well, now ex-friends) of mine until *I* was ready, she pretty much hung up the phone and told them all. Later that night I got calls and text messages from them…
HOWEVER, they were all upset and angry at me, wanting to yell at me for not telling them; for not feeling comfortable enough to tell them, and instead, choosing this particular friend over the rest of them.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Here I am feeling quite vulnerable and you’re yelling at me for it?? Oh HELL NO.
I was pissed. How could you rob me of this moment? I know that she was excited, and really happy for me, and yes, at the end of the day I was going to end up telling them anyway, so I did look at the bigger picture and forgive her for doing what she did. She was young and naive.
…and I was foolish for thinking that I could trust her.
However, that was one of the last conversations that I had with that group of people.
Like I said, I may forgive, but I will not forget.
adorablyobnoxious 