Who puts the most pressure on you — yourself or others?
For me, this is more like a 50:50 situation.
I get pressured by others – people at work, my partner etc, but I also put a lot of pressure on myself. Actually, I think I put the most pressure on myself because my brain works at a million miles an hour, and I almost over think pretty much, everything.
The problem is that sometimes I don’t really enjoy having pressure placed on me, and quite often just throw my hands up and think ‘fuck this, I can’t handle it’.
And then all I want to do is just shut myself off from the rest of the world and hide away from everyone and everything. Most of the time I feel as though I have two versions of myself – the voice that I actually use, who is too censored; and then there’s the voice in my head, the real voice of me who only exists in my brain and never gets to speak.
Maybe that’s the voice that I also use when I write my blog…?? I have a lot to say, I just don’t say it.